It's said it is better to have love and lost

United States
January 27, 2008 2:17pm CST
than to have never loved at all. How true is this statement? Are you still with your first love? Still feeling the effects from lovsing your first love? Me, even though I am not with my first love, there is still a part of me that will always feel for him to some extent. From being hurt so bad by him in the past I still find it hard to give my all in a relationship. I feel as though if I ever love someone like that again that I am only setting myself up to be hurt again in the long run. Me and this guy were together quite a long time. When I became pregnant with our child over six years ago he decided he did not want to be with me no more. My son will be turning seven soon and he has no idea who his father is. This is his father's choice. He decided not only did he not want anything to do with me but that he also did not want anything to do with our son. When My son was first born I thought I would have such a hard time finding someone new since I had a kid. And what guy would want a part of that. Thing is I never had a problem finding a date. But yet I end up not wanting anything to do with these guys. I will think that I want a relationship, but as soon as i get into one its not long before I end up ending it. Do I have a relationship phobia now? I just find that its so much easier to be single. What are other people's thoughts on this.?
4 responses
• United States
27 Jan 08
This is totally understandable that you have a fear of being hurt again, who doesn't? But just so you know, you could probably slap 7 years of child support on this guy that was a jerk... that would be nice, and only fair, its his kid too whether or not he wants to take responsibility, the government forces it upon him. It takes two people, and it is not fair that all the responsibility is on you. I am in love, and it is my first "real" relationship. I will never ever stop loving him to some extent- just as you said. Even if we broke up, there would always be a special place in my heart for him. It's probably really hard to start a new relationship- because you just compare what you felt like with your old boyfriend to what you feel like on your dates. But you should give these men a chance- because really, you never know. Just be somewhat open minded. =)
• China
29 Jan 08
i believe that it's better to have love and lost than to have never love at all.in fact we grow from love,thongh sometimes we get hurt,but each time we would know more about ourselves.one contrary,if one gets hurt for so many times it is easy to make someone lose passion and depressed,in my opinion one shouldn't fail more than three times in love.good luck!
• India
29 Jan 08
yes this statement is very true. Love is one of the best things that can happen to anybody (being a parent the other, according to me). Just to surrender unconditionally to somebody and then to be taken care of by that person, to feel wanted, protected, looked forward to, just to know that your face brings a smile to somebody’s face…it’s a wonderful feeling. Everybody should experience it atleast once in a lifetime.
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
27 Jan 08
Hmm, maybe you keep looking for that first love of yours in the new guys that you're dating. I think you should really let go of that. I mean, after what he did to you, abandoning you just for being pregnant, and now not even helping take care of your child? Sounds like a really lousy guy to me.