Lifelong Love Relationship and the woman gets throw away and left devestated
February 3, 2008 3:50pm CST
I have just turned 48 years old. I have been with the same man for 32 + years. Dated for 5, married for 10, he turned artist and could not handle respsosnibility and the needs of our family, we had had two wonderful children, it was a forced divorce. We seperated somehwat for 3-4 years. Then in 1995, after I put myself throug college and got my first job in the same areas we moved there. We shared our two homes. My partner/husband/life partner refuses to live n a house, he is more monk like andn simple. He was able to find and promote and create a stable income working as a freelance artist, publisher and writer while I held doewn the fort and raised the kids. We care for one another deeply but there are definate problems between us that keeps us from full commitment and awesome intimacy, a problem for us both. Every winter he goes nutz, the short days, no sunlight and hegets out of had with mental/emotional and wrsestling controling type physical abuse towards me. it of course is all my fault and nto his. The Fall of '06 we really had growm up a lot and was clear and fully fell in love again, committed to remarrying, something that was inportant to me. Since his job is traveling and since I had stayed home all those years while he traveled and since I am a true adveturer myself, he told me to quit my job and that he would and could take over the family finances. i was scared but excited and knew that he could support us as we live very frugally and our children are young adults and we could easy have made it wokr out. So this winter came, I had a part time job for the holidays to help with xxmas expenses and then it fell through. i had a roommate set up to help offset the expense of supporting a house and he fell through. We needed the roommate as we have to trave for our job and we had a trike trip planned. he had traveled clear across the US in '3 and I wanted to do that trip with him so badly but he couldn't wait the few months until our youngest was to graduate from Hig School. Many painful wounds. but now, in the Fall of '06 concrete verbal promisies were made between us. the money was our money, we promised to remarry, we promised to be in business together, to work all things out, to heal the wounds that we had caused. There is some concerns about bi-polar and other mental issues. I invested my last cent into 'Us'. He left Jan.11th and refuses to talk or communicate in any way shape or form. i fell apart. i email the family and our kids. Everyone is depressed and mad and sick of it all. i want to find a lawyer and take him to court for spousal support and ownership in the business that i halepd built that I invested my life energy and money into. Any advice, we live in Oregon, it is not a common llaw state and we do not have a piece of paper from the state and so are not legally married. We have been talking and worked on plans to marry to get the legal thing cleared up but we just were so busy traveling and dealing with other things and I took him for his word. I am told verbal agreements are niding , does anyone have any experience with this or advice? thanks and smiles, the garden dancer.
• United States
4 Feb 08
I'm so sorry that this happened to you. You don't deserve to spend your whole life being abused. He sounds like he has lots of issues that he needs to work through, but you now should focus on you and your kids. You've put up with it way too long. Now is YOU time. I wish you well and the best of luck with everything. God Bless.