The best response to help a friend with the loss of a loved one.

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Today I met with another friend trying to cope with the loss of a parent. We baby boomers are faced with our own mortality when this happens. Some of us show our feelings through our actions at the wakes and viewings. Some of us keep these emotions bottled up for years. There is a lot of anger and resentment sometimes directed at the deceased and sometimes aimed at family member that was the caretaker and closest to the parent. Rifts can develop that will stay with a family for years unless peace can be made as quickly as possible. My main question is how prepared are you to leave your best intitions known to those you leave behind?