Too much to ask for some help?

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Okay, my bf is a landscaper in summer and plows snow in winter. In the summer I don't mind taking care of the boys and cleaning the house and making him dinner when he gets home. But in the winter time I feel that he definatley should help out more. I only ask that he keep up on laundry and help with dishes every once in a while. Two simple small things and I can't get him to get away from the tv!!!! Its not just with housework either. I mean we hve been having probs wiht our 3 yr old, and I feel that he does not help me at all. We have tried so many different things to help our 3 yr old behavior more acceptably. Honestly, if i get my bf to follow suit with me then we be more successful with our boy. I have tried to talk to my bf about helping me out more around the house....a three year old can make your house look as if a tornado went through it. Which is fine with me.... that is what they do at that age. But my bf is very loud and can sometimes "scarf my sons head dwon like a milk dud." It is very hard to be consistent with anything when it feels like we are both fighting each other instead of working as a team. I didn't realize until my 4 month old came into the picture that our parenting is alot different. How do you do that?.. I mean how can you be a united front with different parenting values? And ya know he used to help me alot when I was pregnant but now that hte baby is here like I can't get him to do anything. I asked him to do the dishes for me one...which i don't think is so bad, i mean he is home all day too....plus there was only like maybe two sinks full and t stil took him 2 days. I even went ahead and helped, i mean i cleaned the rest of the kitchen and organized the dirties on the counter and still for 2 days my dishes remained. I eventually ended up doing them. The baby needs bottles and the three year old needs cups and we need stuff to eat off of. Can someone please give me some advice. I love him dearly and for the most part his is very good to me and our children, but still he is lazy.... I even went as far as making a chore list.... how stupid like adults really need chore charts!!! I gave up on the chart cuz i was only one doing things. He can't help me out at all but expects me to basicaly sy how high when he says jump. I don't do this at all. We are supposed to be a team... Team means both or all not just one. I seriously feel like a single parent all over again but with two babies this time. Someone please help me. I am going to go insane!!!! How do you motivate a lazy person?