You know you are addicted to coffee if ...

February 29, 2008 10:00am CST
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. You sleep with your eyes open. You have to watch videos in fast-forward. The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer. You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. You chew on other people's fingernails. The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse. You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas. You can type sixty words per minute with your feet. You can jump-start your car without cables. You don't sweat, you percolate. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in. You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them. You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers. People get dizzy just watching you. Instant coffee takes too long. You channel surf faster without a remote. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug. You can outlast the Energizer bunny. You short out motion detectors. You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore. Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale. You help your dog chase its tail. You soak your dentures in coffee overnight. Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup. You ski uphill. You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked. You answer the door before people knock. You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse. Hehehe! I got this from an email sent to me by my former student who knows how much I love coffee..
3 responses
@kbourgerie (8774)
• United States
1 Mar 08
That is hilarious. I've never seen that one before. Thanks so much for sharing. I plan to pass it along to several of my friends.
@diillu (5128)
29 Feb 08
Awesome. I just love it. I was laughing till the last when I read this. I even copied it so that I could send it to my friends and madly waiting to tell it to my boyfriend who is crazy about coffee as well. loved it.
@Chey1970 (1193)
• United States
29 Feb 08
*laughing* That is cute. I guess I'm not addicted to coffee after all. Thank you for the 'addict' information.