I'm Turning 30 - Let the Midlife Crisis Begin

United States
March 12, 2008 8:12am CST
Ok so I'm not actually turning 30 for another 90 days or so but I like to get things like this out of the way early. Did any of you suffer a midlife crisis when you turned 30? Was turning 30 a big deal for you? I think my issue has more to do with how aging is phrased. Think about this: Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!! But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 . . .. and your dreams are gone. But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92." Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" So maybe I am just overreacting. There is no real reason for me to go out cut my hair, dye it red, get lasik eye surgery because I hate wearing glasses to drive, get breast implants to undo the effects of gravity and 4 children, and start dressing like my 12 year old. But it is currently my thought process. How did you survive your midlife crisis? Or if you haven't had one yet what do you think of people who have one?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@novataylor (6572)
• United States
12 Mar 08
Go, P1kef1sh! What he said, Cyn. ditto. Plus, and there's always a plus with me, I've got to tell you, darlin, turning 30 was a most welcome occurrence for me. I loved it. Goodbye twenties, good riddance! My twenties were great, don't get me wrong, they were some of the best, wildest, sexually crazed, rock & roll filled, roller coaster times and I had an absolute blast the whole decade, but they were so tumultuous, Cyn. Up and down, married and divorced, oh, guess what, your hubby's gay, ooops, didn't catch that one, did I? I was loved in that decade, and oh so beautifully, too. I loved too. Boy, did I ever. But, I still welcomed 30 with open arms and heart. I thought that maybe things might become clearer somehow, I might just understand myself and my life a little more, and they did and I did. My thirties were great. They brought me right to my forties and things just continued to get better. Now I'm 53 and I love being this age. As I've said in other posts, I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin and have a very calm, and secure sense of self. It's an amazing thing. Embrace the birthday, darlin girl, it's just the start of another chapter in your life, one that will bring good things to you, and you'll come to understand yourself even better, which will enable you to make wiser choices and decisions in your life. Trust me. Would I lie to you? Nope.
• United States
12 Mar 08
And this is why I feel fortunate to have been adopted by such a wonderful woman. My real mom could never have put this so eloquently. When she turned 30 she was trying to fit her huge @$$ into my clothes and took up listening to big hair bands so she wouldn't feel "so old". My sweetie is already an old man so I'm sure he will help me through the day when it finally arrives. I may have to hire a male stripper and take his convertible for the day though
• United States
13 Mar 08
Oh, mama loves you, darlin. And thanks so much for the kind words. If I can give you anything at all, I hope that I can always give you hope.
@p1kef1sh (45640)
12 Mar 08
I am repeatedly told that 50 is the new 30. Handy for me, (16 days to go. Not that i'm counting) but that pushes you back to 10, when all you want to do is get old. Still, you will have to lose the children and soon to be hubbie, well I guess that your daughter could always babysit you. No more rumpy pumpy, but you will get the chance to get braces on your teeth and demand even more pizza. Far better I think to accept that you are now moving into some of the best years of your life. I hated the mere thought of my 30th. On the day itself I went to work and told my wife that we could go out to dinner, but that was just to please her, because she felt that the day should be marked somehow. What I didn't expect was the secret party. I got home and it was all suspiciously quiet. I opened the lounge door and there were 20 or so of my friends. We had a jolly time, but it made it not that much better. But my 30's were actually blissful. I had my family, some money, people stopped saying "what are you going to do with your life?" Getting older whilst you can still move without a frame is actually great fun. You may not think so when you're doing it. but it is. No one expects you to be anything other than cantankerous, you can say what you feel and get away with it. You can wear old and unfashionable clothes and no one looks at you askance, but if you do take the effort they notice that too. I am told by lady friends that things start to point south (my things always does, except in occasional moments of excitement) but a good support bra will do the trick. Support pantyhose is also recommended, but these are things that are a little beyond me. 30 can be dangerous though. If you are not careful you can end up being very serious about things and it will take you a good 20 years to realise that nobody gives a flying fart. Except Rintintin, but you'll have to read his poo related recent post to understand that. Most importantly, enjoy yourself whatever age you are.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Mar 08
I think I already feel like I'm 50. I enjoy the company of more mature friends over those my own age. I look at other people I know at this time in their lives and they are just starting their families and careers and just now getting their first house or just now getting married for the first time. I used to say I was born 60 and ready for retirement in kindergarten. I'm starting to believe that's true. I have been "old" since I was 17. I had already gotten my drinking and partying out of my system cause I was a "bad" kid. I was already working to pay the bills and take care of my family, having responsibilities, putting myself last. I may not want to revisit my teens but 21 was a good year. I'd like to vacation there just once in a while.
• United States
12 Mar 08
The strange thing is...you don't look anything like George Carlin.
• United States
12 Mar 08
The stranger thing is that this rant is often attributed to George Carlin but it is not his :)
• United States
13 Mar 08
Ok. I had to do some checking since I could not for the life of me remember his name....but....George Carlin did a similar routine, but the EXACT routine was done by a comedian named Larry Miller. Overall, a very funny and yet very forgettable guy.
• United States
13 Mar 08
Does this count as one of the times you have been wrong in your life? What does that make the total now, 3?
@vanities (11376)
• Davao, Philippines
14 Mar 08
i guess midlife crisis usually occurs when your in you 40s or something...yeah i did experienced midlife crisis..and thank God i was able to survived...i dont want to make details on it but it pertains to relationship and something personal...