Read On The Toilet? What If There's Nothing To Read?

Anderson, Indiana
March 25, 2008 8:45pm CST
If you're one of these people (yours truly included) who enjoys reading on the toilet, what do you do if you seat yourself only to find that there's nothing to read?
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7 responses
@lisado (1230)
• United States
26 Mar 08
Generally I try to make sure that I take whatever book I am currently reading with me when I go in there. If I forget, heck, I'll read the back of a shampoo bottle if I get desperate enough. Maybe the directions on the Scrubbing Bubbles cleaner under the sink. Whatever I can reach. When I was growing up, my parents always has stacks of magazines on the back of the toilet. Well, the magazines were my dad's. Don't get excited. They were Marine Corps magazines like Leatherneck and some others. My mom always had a romance novel in there. They had a linen closet for the towels, though, and we don't. lol
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• Anderson, Indiana
26 Mar 08
Sometimes, I even refer to my bathroom as The Library--and, in fact, have a sign up on the door saying as much. There have been times when I've gone into the bathroom to do nothing but pee and will still take a book with me--and end up sitting there for a couple of hours or so reading it. Not these days, however, because I don't like the feeling of getting stuck to the toilet seat and having to painfully separate myself from it. Once I lose some weight, however, long reading sessions will become comfortable again. I know that you've also had weight issues in the past, so was there ever a time when you started sticking to the seat?
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@Modestah (11192)
• United States
26 Mar 08
oh man, my father would in the morning after breakfast - grab his readers digest magazine or condensed book and say he was going to go meditate - don't disturb him. so for the longest time I associated meditation with moving of the bowels!!! imagine my horrored embarrassment when in third grade the teacher was reading to us as a group and the word came up - and Mrs. K. asked if any of us knew the meaning of this word, meditation, oh I was quite shy but I got so excited when no one else raised their hands, and me I KNEW THE WORD!!!! I was the only one who knew its meaning!!!! oh did the laughter (and the tears) roll.... well what else was I to think when dad would say he was going to meditate - and whenever he was done the privy smelled of that curiously unique scent that was undeniably DAD in the morning.... sigh.
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• Anderson, Indiana
26 Mar 08
ROTFLMHO!!! I'll have to share this with my cousin, as her dad both read on the toilet and left behind quite an odor most of the time! Although I'd never heard of him using the term "meditate" before, he was quite intellectual, so that would seem like a word he might have used to describe this experience of settling on the pot with something to read. Only one problem...there wasn't the kind of privacy afforded to him, because--as Denise told me one time--the minute there was the sound of thunder coming from the mug, this little drama began: Aunt Kate: It's Lysol time! Denise! Go get the Lysol! At this point, Denise would grab the spray can and start going to town on the bathroom with the enthusiasm of the nine year old she was at that time. But Uncle Don didn't hop on Denise's case, because he knew who put her up to it, and would say... Uncle Don: Dammit Katie! Don't you know I don't like to smell that stuff!?! Aunt Kate: Well, Don, I don't like to smell your stink, either! Denise and I had such a wonderful time up there at this hotel in Epworth Forest staying up and telling Uncle Don stories (mostly, about gas--which he had plenty of). This took place back in 1972, and she'd just turned ten years old, and going up to Epworth Forest to a music weekend was my present to her. We had a blast. We hadn't even finished this trip before Denise was asking me if we were going to go again to "Airport Forest" next year.
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@Modestah (11192)
• United States
26 Mar 08
I need something fairly quick to read - so I might grab the sales flyer - if I take in a book or magazine I find myself sitting too long in that place and my various body parts will start going numb... then I get terrorizing thoughts of becoming one with the seat and needing it pried off when they come to rescue me!
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@Modestah (11192)
• United States
26 Mar 08
I pressed post too soon, sorry! I will do like transdisc and read the shampoo bottles etc... sometimes the toilet paper wrapper - the box of q-tips, the vaseline - any product with a label will do.
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• Anderson, Indiana
26 Mar 08
That possibility of becoming one with the seat scares me a little, too. It seems as if these days my skin wants to stick to surfaces such as toilet seats and vinyl chairs--which is one of the reasons I'm determined to lose some weight!
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@Feona1962 (7527)
• United States
26 Mar 08
You're funny...I don't read while I am on the toilet, because my sessions last under 1 minute....LOL..but on the off chance that I may be experiencing a malfunction then I grab the bag of toilet paper that I have laying next to the toilet and read that...Or I will grab a shampoo bottle and read that...I do have wet wipes in there so I read the valuable information on there...LOL...I also have Lysol spray on the back of the toilet and I read that too!...My bathroom is loaded with choices...LOL
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• Anderson, Indiana
26 Mar 08
How can you get everything done in a minute when it first has to drop out of you and, after that, you have to clean up the mess? Overall, mine exits me pretty fast--but, then, there's the paperwork. Of course, I don't read while doing the paperwork. What usually happens is that I sit down and go both #1 & #2 pretty quickly. However, I'll get in the mood to sit there and read before tackling clean-up.
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@Feona1962 (7527)
• United States
26 Mar 08
When I have to go I have to go NOW...I am lucky if I make it to the bathroom which I do in the nick of time...on the rare occasion I don't make it then it takes longer due to having to clean up and sometimes end up taking a shower...
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@winterose (39918)
• Canada
27 Mar 08
well I used to read in the toilet years ago, I got away from the habit now, but I brought my material in with me.
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• Anderson, Indiana
27 Mar 08
I do that many times, too--grab up something interesting and take it along with me to read. Not as fun as it used to be before I started sticking to the seat but still enjoyable on days when I'm not so inclined to stick to the seat. Why I stick more some days than others I have no idea.
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@filmbuff (2909)
• United States
26 Mar 08
I try very much not to let that happen in the first place. I usually keep some books and magazines in there just so I have something to read should the need arise and if often does. The few times there wasn't anything to read, I found myself reading anything I could find, including the info on hair care products and toiletries. Talk about exciting. haha NOT.
• Anderson, Indiana
26 Mar 08
When there's nothing to read, I usually sit there and gather my thoughts before starting in on the paperwork.
2 people like this
• United States
26 Mar 08
I do not read, I just take care of business, and I get on out of there. It has to be something interesting that just really grab my attention. But other than that who wants to be reading a book while taking care of business. While this is too funy to me.
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• Anderson, Indiana
26 Mar 08
The bathroom is kind of a cozy, little room that puts me in the same kind of mood I'm in when I find a corner of a library, bookstore, or my house in which to read. I also like to curl up in bed with some good books and magazines. I've also been known to make plans and write poetry while seated on the best seat in the house. Of course, since I've gained weight, it's not quite so comfortable to do that as it once was, so I do it a little less. But I still do some bathroom reading.
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@jtr115 (724)
• United States
6 Apr 08
There's actually a series of books I read called "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader." Each book contains lots of articles and stories of various lengths and covering a wide range of topics. I like to keep at least one volume of this book series handy.
• Anderson, Indiana
6 Apr 08
That's really neat! I'm going to have to check those books out! I have a friend who's even more of a bathroom reader than I am--or was at one time. Now, she's a widow with several kids--but, seeing as how all of those kids are adults and teens now, she might have time again... Anyway, she took reading material with her whether planning on sitting on the throne or relaxing in the tub. When she and her brother were still living at home with their mom and dad, her brother used to say that he hoped she'd never take Gone With The Wind in there with her. I believe that their house had only one bathroom! LOL I was lucky! When I was growing up as an only child, our house had three bathrooms in it--and the one we built when I was about to go into high school also had three bathrooms. I live in a house with two bathrooms now, but only one is currently functional. But I live alone, so no problem.
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• Anderson, Indiana
6 Apr 08
Oh yes! I was going to say that my friend is having a birthday this month, so I just might look up one of those books and send it to her (she lives about 30 miles northeast of me) or else give it to her mom & dad who live in town to pass on to her.
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