Read On The Toilet? What If There's Nothing To Read?

ROTFLMHO!!! I'll have to share this with my cousin, as her dad both read on the toilet and left behind quite an odor most of the time! Although I'd never heard of him using the term "meditate" before, he was quite intellectual, so that would seem like a word he might have used to describe this experience of settling on the pot with something to read. Only one problem...there wasn't the kind of privacy afforded to him, because--as Denise told me one time--the minute there was the sound of thunder coming from the mug, this little drama began: Aunt Kate: It's Lysol time! Denise! Go get the Lysol! At this point, Denise would grab the spray can and start going to town on the bathroom with the enthusiasm of the nine year old she was at that time. But Uncle Don didn't hop on Denise's case, because he knew who put her up to it, and would say... Uncle Don: Dammit Katie! Don't you know I don't like to smell that stuff!?! Aunt Kate: Well, Don, I don't like to smell your stink, either! Denise and I had such a wonderful time up there at this hotel in Epworth Forest staying up and telling Uncle Don stories (mostly, about gas--which he had plenty of). This took place back in 1972, and she'd just turned ten years old, and going up to Epworth Forest to a music weekend was my present to her. We had a blast. We hadn't even finished this trip before Denise was asking me if we were going to go again to "Airport Forest" next year.

Sometimes, I even refer to my bathroom as The Library--and, in fact, have a sign up on the door saying as much. There have been times when I've gone into the bathroom to do nothing but pee and will still take a book with me--and end up sitting there for a couple of hours or so reading it. Not these days, however, because I don't like the feeling of getting stuck to the toilet seat and having to painfully separate myself from it. Once I lose some weight, however, long reading sessions will become comfortable again. I know that you've also had weight issues in the past, so was there ever a time when you started sticking to the seat?

oh man, my father would in the morning after breakfast - grab his readers digest magazine or condensed book and say he was going to go meditate - don't disturb him. so for the longest time I associated meditation with moving of the bowels!!! imagine my horrored embarrassment when in third grade the teacher was reading to us as a group and the word came up - and Mrs. K. asked if any of us knew the meaning of this word, meditation, oh I was quite shy but I got so excited when no one else raised their hands, and me I KNEW THE WORD!!!! I was the only one who knew its meaning!!!! oh did the laughter (and the tears) roll.... well what else was I to think when dad would say he was going to meditate - and whenever he was done the privy smelled of that curiously unique scent that was undeniably DAD in the morning.... sigh.

That possibility of becoming one with the seat scares me a little, too. It seems as if these days my skin wants to stick to surfaces such as toilet seats and vinyl chairs--which is one of the reasons I'm determined to lose some weight!

I pressed post too soon, sorry! I will do like transdisc and read the shampoo bottles etc... sometimes the toilet paper wrapper - the box of q-tips, the vaseline - any product with a label will do.

I do that many times, too--grab up something interesting and take it along with me to read. Not as fun as it used to be before I started sticking to the seat but still enjoyable on days when I'm not so inclined to stick to the seat. Why I stick more some days than others I have no idea.

When there's nothing to read, I usually sit there and gather my thoughts before starting in on the paperwork.

How can you get everything done in a minute when it first has to drop out of you and, after that, you have to clean up the mess? Overall, mine exits me pretty fast--but, then, there's the paperwork. Of course, I don't read while doing the paperwork. What usually happens is that I sit down and go both #1 & #2 pretty quickly. However, I'll get in the mood to sit there and read before tackling clean-up.

When I have to go I have to go NOW...I am lucky if I make it to the bathroom which I do in the nick of time...on the rare occasion I don't make it then it takes longer due to having to clean up and sometimes end up taking a shower...

The bathroom is kind of a cozy, little room that puts me in the same kind of mood I'm in when I find a corner of a library, bookstore, or my house in which to read. I also like to curl up in bed with some good books and magazines. I've also been known to make plans and write poetry while seated on the best seat in the house. Of course, since I've gained weight, it's not quite so comfortable to do that as it once was, so I do it a little less. But I still do some bathroom reading.

That's really neat! I'm going to have to check those books out! I have a friend who's even more of a bathroom reader than I am--or was at one time. Now, she's a widow with several kids--but, seeing as how all of those kids are adults and teens now, she might have time again... Anyway, she took reading material with her whether planning on sitting on the throne or relaxing in the tub. When she and her brother were still living at home with their mom and dad, her brother used to say that he hoped she'd never take Gone With The Wind in there with her. I believe that their house had only one bathroom! LOL I was lucky! When I was growing up as an only child, our house had three bathrooms in it--and the one we built when I was about to go into high school also had three bathrooms. I live in a house with two bathrooms now, but only one is currently functional. But I live alone, so no problem.

Oh yes! I was going to say that my friend is having a birthday this month, so I just might look up one of those books and send it to her (she lives about 30 miles northeast of me) or else give it to her mom & dad who live in town to pass on to her.