Do you set limits for your 'adult' children?

I think if your daughter is disrupting the household that much you have every right to tell her to knock it off or do it somewhere else. She seems like overall she is a responsible, goal oriented person...but she has to understand what you need in your life. And that is quiet so you can sleep, and sleep so you can work! I'm 19 and still living with my parents. And I fully support your decision to tell her to respect your wishes.

My house, my rules and that goes for house guests too. I recently had a problem with my teenage daughters sleepover when her friend received a middle of the night call from her ex-boyfriend and wanted to leave I said no way am I letting you out of the house at this time of the morning anything could happen. So she stayed til morning. Both my daughters know that during the week that must not arrive home any later than midnight and if they feel they will be out later than this so as not to upset the rest of the households sleep pattern will stay over at a friends. Weekends I don't mind so much and they often have people to stay. I personally insist that once in bed they switch phones to silent which is what I do. Maybe you could ask your daughter to do the same. It is a very frustrating age where they still need a lot of guidance and support but at the same time feel that they know it all already eh! Good Luck, mine are 21 and 17 so I know what you are going through. Ellie :D

Our daughter is a year older and is much the same. Except that she is now at university. However, she knows that she can come home late but that there will be a major sense of humour failure if she is noisy. Phone calls at that time of night are definitely out. She has free roam of the house but she has to understand that we live here too, and we pay the bills. All of them, including her mobile. If she steps out of line the mobile will go. In fairness, she is very good and although she has had the odd moment, we generally get a good night. Whenever she plays the adult card we say fair enough, adults pay rent, worry about how they are going to get to friends houses and back to Uni with all her bags. If she wants to leave, we won't stop her. We might go and live with her instead - that would really set the cat amongst the pigeons.

tell her the there is a fine line about freedom and abuse of freedom. be considerate about other people but first be considerate to her self. and about the parties I think she its her way of rewarding her self of all the hard work she has done. she is just releasing her stresses in life she just don't know it. "work hard party harder" thats what I do. and I'm doing great by the way.

I think you should talk with her if she is free and very happy . And tell her that though she is an "adult" . but she should think about others . For example , she argues for an hour with her boyfriend on her mobile phone . And i think that will influence neighbours . And maybe you can't sleep very well at night . So I think take your time to talk with her. And tell her how to be a great adult .

I live in china. in china ,a 18 years old person still lives with parents . he dares not go home so late with out telephone home. most parents are strict ,so young man is not as independent as those in your country, even they're 18 years old ,offically an adult . but when they are married ,the move out ,then they're really an "adult"

I agree. My mom gave me the same deal when I turned 18. As long as I'm still in their house I live by their laws. They're still fairly leniant with me but I know if I pulled that arguing deal they'd flip on me. And as some have said she does seem pretty responsible and capable of taking care of her own actions. So it sounds good to me, really. It's only fair, right?

I think that you are right in telling her there are certain rules in which she will follow while living at home. She is still young and she still needs to know that there are certain things you don't do out of respect for others. I am not sure I would give her the this is my house and as long as you live under my roof speech. I would just tell her the facts of being in a house with others that as an adult she needs to repect certain things. She might not like it but if you tell her it is how it has to be then she will either follow it or find out the cold hard truth when she is looking for an apartment. I wish you luck and remember our children are never too old to need direction from us as parents.

"She thinks because she is an 'adult' she can do WHATEVER she wants but I'm sorry, while she lives in our house she follows our rules - or ships out." Preach! She needs to respect the rules like you said here. If not she needs go be an adult and live on her own.

I don't have adult children; my oldest is only 10. When I read the title I thought, "Why set limits for adults?" It is entirely different if they are living under your roof and being disrespectful. No matter how old you are you should respect the rules of the house you are living in. My parents didn't set limits on me but I moved out at 18.

I think that you have every right demand respect for others in the home. If she wants to be on the phone at 4 am, that is her business- but when it disrupts you, she has made it yours. She should be able to come and go as she pleases, but general respect would dictate she tell you when she expects to be home. She is an adult, but rudeness wouldn't be tolerated by roommates and it needn't be tolerated by you.

I am all for the your house, your rules. I have a 19yr old that had moved out, then back and thought that since he was an "adult" he could do what he wanted, I let him know that if he were truley an "adult" he would be paying rent and supporting himself, needless to say, he is now. My sisters daughter is 25 and back living w/ her. One day my neice called a while back to complain that her dad grounded her, took her car keys away. I remember her saying how can you get grounded at 25, I told her by living at home w/ her parents, hehe.

If your daughter doesn't want to respect you guys when she comes home at 2, 3 or 4 in the morning she should ship out. I did it too when I just turned 18. But I seen what I was doing when coming home and waking up the whole house. Sometimes the parents didn't mind as it was the weekend but during the week it was a no go. If she is living under your roof and is 18 tell her to act like it or she can get her own place. Simple as that. Have respect for others when you come home at that hour. Just because she is 18 doesn't make her a full on responsible adult.