Future Step Parent? Should I or should I not?

Tweet

I have met the most wonderful man and he treats me great. I have raised my two children and he has a 10 year old girl. I have known them for a long time, but never thought about dating him until now. His daughter is very intelligent. She has been allowed to be in on adult conversations all of her life. She has so many clothes that I have actually taken two trash bags out and she has not noticed it. You cannot find a Christmas present she got, They get stuffed under her bed and if you tell her to clean her room, she just shoves more under the bed. She has actually told me, "I will just go ask Daddy, he will get it for me", if I tell her no on something. Everytime my boyfriend goes to the store even if it is to get gas, she will hop out of the car and run in the store. You can then see her putting a soda or cookies on the counter and Daddy reaches in his pocket and pays for it. I have talked to him about several issues and he even admitted that he had the same discussion with his wife (she is now deceased) several years ago. I then told him then obviously there is some kind of issue that he needs to look at. I do not want to have a war with a 10 year old and I know he will stand by her. Is there anyway to have him understand how his doting is not healthy?