does absence make the heart grow more fonder? or forgetful?

Philippines
April 11, 2008 2:22pm CST
a friend of mine moved to another country, leaving his girl friend behind and promised they would always keep in contact with each other. a year passed by and they were still going strong, only to find out very recently that they broke up a few months ago. so, with all the communication technology at hand such as snail mails [postal], telephones, cellphones, and the internet available. can a relationship still stand strong when your other half is in some distant country?
5 responses
• United States
27 Apr 08
I say it all depends on how true and deep the love is. If it isn't right for the people involved, the absence will wake the heart up, and help the person realize its time tomove on with their lives. But if the realtionship is strong and the love grows deep to the inner core of the couple, than the absence will make the heart grow fonder... Sooner or later one of the people will make sacrifices in their lives to be with the one they love.
• Philippines
28 Apr 08
your probably right. i would think that its probably ok to be in a long distance relationship when you've been together for years. but when your relationship is just starting out i think it has a chance, but i feel that its a slim chance. new relationships require both people to be together most of the time so ive noticed. but thats just me
• United States
28 Apr 08
Many people have met online and developed their relationship from a far before ever seeing each other face to face. Others have been married for years and then one has to leave on business, and it ll falls apart. I don't think it has anything to do with how long a couple has been together. Just goes back to what I said. It depends on how deep the love goes, not how long its been there.
• Singapore
27 Apr 08
i think it's hard to say... but i think most cases it won't work out. my friend was with her boyfriend for more than a year before he had to go abroad for his studies. but the thing about her situation was that even upon completion of his studies her bf wouldn't be coming back, as his family is planning on moving over there. so the most they'll get to actually meet up and physically see other is no more than approximately a month every year. in addition, my friend has also been facing pressure from her dad, who doesn't like the guy, since the beginning of the relationship. my friend was really sad when he left and they made all possible efforts to keep in touch, even to the extent of going online everyday. she will always try to go back home asap everyday just to be able to spend more time online with him. They will even leave their cams on while they're doing work. Unfortunately (or not, coz i'm really not in any position to judge), another guy came into her life a few months later. initially, she merely regarded him as a good friend, and when he confessed, she got a big shock, though she did admit that he'd stand a good chance if she wasn't attached. however, she didn't accept him immediately. after a very long and painful struggle though, she finally gave in. she's the sort who thinks far ahead (whether that's a good or bad thing in this case, i don't know) and said she didn't think she could possibly be involved with the first guy for say another 5 to 10 years and only get to see him a few weeks every year. i guess this, coupled with the pressure from her dad's disapproval, made it really hard for her. i don't blame her, coz i can't even imagine being in her situation. i just felt that it was a real pity, coz the first guy was quite a nice guy who really took good care of her. but in any case, she broke up with him and has been with the second guy now for almost a year already.
• Singapore
27 Apr 08
lol... i just realised how long-winded i was. but the incident affected me a lot then, as i was there from beginning till end, watching all the events unfold. i felt really sorry for her.
• Philippines
28 Apr 08
wow. i can see you've really taken to the discussion. hehehe.. i have a friend who experienced something like that too. not necessarily the same thing but with a 3rd party as well. its sad to think that they would eventually break up because of distance but its probably not meant to be for them. thank you for your thoughts
@se7enthbird (8326)
• Philippines
26 Apr 08
well i've been through that during the time when my wife (well she was my girlfriend back then) went to work abroad for six months. we remained faithful to each other. that happened twice. it depends on the personality of that person. i remained loyal to her and she to me. for example IF my girlfriend did not remain loyal, of course it will hurt me but i know to myself that i became loyal and the problem was on her side. but thank God we didnt have a problem when it comes to that. or heart and love for each other grow fonder. we are married now for five years and we have a two year old son. during the times when my wife was abroad the only communication we had was phone calls. no texting and no internet
• Philippines
27 Apr 08
congratulations. im glad that you and your present wife remained faithful to each other when you were still dating. it must have been hard to keep in touch with each other when it was only phone calls. these days with all the texting, email, phonecalls and etc in technology, couples shouldnt have a problem in 'keeping their flame alive' if you know what i mean. i guess its also probably falling out of love. yes, it depends on the couple. thanks for the response
• Philippines
27 Apr 08
she worked at japan, and she is not used to speaking and reading the language so she cant use the internet freely. there are internet cafes there too but talking to them was not easy for her and of course using the computer with not on a english language is difficult. we both spend too much on call cards but hey its all worth it.
@mkchaves (533)
• Canada
27 Apr 08
i want to believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder. because im in that same situation your friends had. i'd like to think that after a year that we will not break up. there are a lot of things to make it work, and yes, constant communication is one, trust, and a lot of understanding and faith to each other too. being in this kind of relationship is really hard. but i want to believe that, LOVE is enough to make the relationship work. there should be firm plans on when they could be together again, and how long will the distance end. it should be a two way street... nothing more to add
• Philippines
28 Apr 08
im also hoping that your relationship would be one of those success stories about long distance relationships. thanks :)
@cher913 (25884)
• Canada
11 Apr 08
i think in most cases its out of sight, out of mind...unless they really love each other...sometimes long distance dating actually does work but not that often i think.