Come on homeschooler, help a fellow homeschooler out!!!

United States
April 15, 2008 1:09pm CST
I know we don't like the whole socialization debate. But I've tried to start this discussion on a couple other boards. I'm working on a college research paper, and chose this topic to debate. I'm a homeschooler and have been since my 11th grade year of school. My kids are 3, 5, 7, & going on 9, they've never been to a traditional school. I know how I respond to this debate, but I would like to "hear" other home shoolers thoughts. My kids are involved with their peers on many levels, as I am sure yours are as well. When I think back to my school days, I cringe at the Social behaviors I witnessed and even adopted. I am so grateful that my children wont go through the same terrors I did, but that is not the reason we home school. I want them to learn about confrontation and how to handle it maturely, something I think kids miss out on terribly in the public school arena. I want my kids to grow up with developed communication skills, another huge fault area I witnessed in schools. I know how I work to foster these principles, how do you do it? What are your kids involved in? Where do your kids "socialize"? Do you have any PS horror stories, related to social concepts? Thank you very much for your responses!!!!
5 responses
• United States
18 Apr 08
My wife is a travel nurse so we move every 3 months, we started home schooling our kids because of her career but it's become more than just a convenience. I want my kids to have the best college education they can experience, so we are taking their education as our responsibility. We have bright children and we call our son the "Senator" because he very sociable. Our daughter loves doing school work with her brother, she is pre-school but can read and write. We give our kids a Christian atmosphere to learn in, public school is hard because its a growing period for everyone and if you're different then it never gets easier. We attend church and lots of times there's a home school group so peers are easy to come by. We also involve our kids in everything we do, shopping, errands, whatever. I want my kids to have an education that they can apply later in life, not just information to win at trivia games. The best thing about HS is seeing where your child excels and letting them. Math is our son's strong point and he's in 2nd grade doing 3rd and 4th grade math. PS would only let him stay within his grade and we clipped his wings so he could fly. I don't have any horror stories about PS, but teachers are bound by a union and they don't want to loose their jobs so they just don't do anymore than is necessary. The horror is the children who will come out of those institutions with no knowledge except how to survive, not thrive.
• United States
18 Apr 08
You make a strong point, well actually two. First, the fact the teachers are bound by their rules, that keeps them from focusing on each child individually, and allowing them to become the person they are supposed to be. The second, that kids in ps are mere boxes to be filled with facts that are only good for trivia games and future teaching. I like your story, because my first experience with hsers was my aunt and uncle. They were missionaries, so they hsed their three children. One went on to the air force and became a helicopter pilot, then later a helicopter pilot instructor. One helps his dad run the family business. And the other is a gifted musician, who is in art school and developing her talent, performing and such. No social set backs whatsoever. I also liked the part you shared about bringing your kids to run errands. My 7 and 8 year olds pay the water bill, cable bill, and purchase money orders for ones we mail, all by themselves. The tellers think it is cute, but I think they are developing a necessary social function. They also get a small list, and a 10 or 20 dollar bill, and go into our grocery store, by themselves, and purchase the things we need for dinner. At first dad was a little uneasy with this. He was worried they wold buy the wrong things and waste or money, or some one in the store would bother them.. But it has worked out great. They pump gas, go in and pay. For one they are learning necessary skills that they will actually use later in life. For two, I don't have to haul the little ones in and out of the car on these days. Its a win win. Thanks for sharing. On a side note, how do you find hs groups when you travel so often?
• United States
18 Apr 08
We get involved with our church as much as possible. My wife and I are involved with the Nazarene church, we're both alumni from a Nazarene college so we keep close ties with the activities that the church offers. Most of the churches we attend have a home schooling program, we just have to ask and the pastor always has that information. I too teach my children things that they will later use in life, I use the world as a classroom and I'm equiping them for a life of confidence not confusion. A few people thought that home schooling our kids would cause them to turtle into their shells, its been just the opposite, they have flown from their crysalis and want to explore what life has to offer. Someone remarked the other day that we are raising little missionaries, we are, missions is our calling. God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called.
• United States
15 Apr 08
My children are 3 and 7. We are coming to the end of our first year home schooling for my eldest. I have always wanted to homeschool, but my husband said they would be loners and isolated. So I sent my son to public school, at the age of 5,just like everyone else. Here in Florida, the schools are substandard to what I am used to in New York, but i let that slide. The rules are so ridiculous and outlandish, but I let that slide. The bus ride, from school to home was horrid. Between the bus driver who wrote you up if you sneezed, to the behaviors of other children effecting my son, to now air conditioning, and an extremely long ride, but I let all that slide. Then we bought a house in another small town, and it is a better school system, but they only have 3 bus stops in the whole town. He would have to get on the bus at 6:45, and not get off the bus until 3:45, and then walk home from the bus stop. I am sorry but that was enough for me. I let my son decide, and I did not pressure him, and he decided homeschool. He is very happy being home with me and his sister. We have flexibility with both our schedule and what and how we learn. He still has contact with some of this friends from his other school. He is just finishing up youth league baseball, where he has met several new friends. We go to the Library every other week, and as soon as I feel he is old enough, I will enroll him in community service type events. I do not feel he is deprived of social skills whatsoever. I feel children in public school, get way too much of their friends and not enough of their families. I am so glad we decided to homeschool, and I dont want to ever send them to public school.
• United States
15 Apr 08
Thanks Melissa, your story sounds all too familiar. Just out of curiosity, what has been your single most rewarding experience during this first year of homeschooling?
• United States
16 Apr 08
Being with my child, and teaching him the things I think are important. While we do follow a regular education based curriculum, we learn through doing things in life rather than just on paper. For example, for Science we planted a garden. Social Studies we made a map of our classroom, which is of course our home. To help with writing, we right letters to family members back in New York, plus I am trying to get some pen pals from other countries for him. Math and measuring we measure items around the house, and use simple cooking measuring cups to show amounts of measuring. He learns to help with cooking and learns measuring. I find it very rewarding and gratifying to be able to teach my son in this manner, and look forward to when my 3 yr old starts a more formal learning schedule.
1 person likes this
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
15 Apr 08
I have homeschooled my kids for about 5 or 6 years now and I have to say that I am glad that I do. My kids are 17 and 11 and they do not lack social skills or the chance to be with others. My oldest has worked since she was 14 and she has several friends her age. She has friends from work,other home schooled kids that we met through a homeschool group, friends from church, she attends basketball camp every summer through another church, she met her boyfriend through my work and she was introduced to his friends. My youngest has several friends in the neighborhood and she is involved in Girl Scouts. She has friends from church and she has friends at her grandma's house that she has visit quite often. It is rare to not find kids at our home any time that the girls are home as the other kids like to "Play" in our school room and they like to hear from the kids what we have done in school as they think it is cool. I am proud of you for making this your debate and I wish you the best.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Apr 08
Thank you Carol, now if one a few more will respond, I'll have a good base for my paper!
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
I just posted a new discussion regarding social issues on home schooled kids. This topic was 4 months ago but I would still like to share my story. I have three kids (ages 5, 3 and 3months) last year was too early for my 5 year old to go to a formal school (he'll turn 5 on October ) luckily there's an going children club in our neighborhood ( held by a preschool teacher, the rate was as much as regular school tuition) I enrolled him there but at the middle of the term, all his club mates dropped due to financial reason, so he was only the club member and I don't know if it become an advantage, the teacher focused on him and thus giving him an edge on some of the kids with the same level as his. This year we decide that to enroll him in a formal pre school. Since he already have some non formal education before the topics in his kindergarten classes bored him. I asked their school if they can put him in a higher class, but they declined. I feel so much for my child and I am so worried that his learning enthusiast will pass if he would always be bored in their subjects. With so much thinking, I decided to home school him. I had so much anxiety before we start, but now I am pretty confident (though I still worry about the socialization issues.. but I am working on it) It's been a month since we started this and I am really glad that I did this. My kids are fast learner and they enjoy studying so much, choose between playing or studying, they would gladly chose studying, they learned more if topic are introduced by means of arts. My first born can relate to concept if you let him experience it, if you discuss it, you'll just bore him. If I let him continue formal preschools, I will not discover these things and I think he would not enjoy studying as much as he is enjoying it now.
• United States
6 Aug 08
My daughter has apsergers and the entire reason she is out of the public school system is her inability to function in that kind of social situation. We're giving her a class called life studies. In this class we are learning to talk together, have manners, use body language, and use the correct tone and verbal cues. I'm not putting her into high school until she's mastered most of these skills. She can't even keep a friend more than a day. If she goes back into public school now, she will be socially ostercized like she was last year. I think homeschooling is a great way to concentrate on these skills.
• United States
6 Aug 08
Yes it is, and I don't think that should be limited to a child with a disability. My children have an active ongoing "class" we call life skills. We focus on communication (verbal, written, and body, relationships (among people, things, and topics), and care (for the home, body, and people).