A son who never show up in his dad's funeral.....

United States
April 15, 2008 4:51pm CST
what might be the possible valid reason for you? This question is still unanswered for us who knew this man, who is from USA and decided to retire in the Philippines and give his monthly support to one of the big universities in our city! He started the program last 1997 and he died last 2006(The program was named after his daughter who died at the age of 30), I believe until this time, the scholarship continues since he left a big amount before he died. He was able to help more than 300 successful students who are teachers, accountants and businessman/woman now. I heared some are working now in big companies in Europe.When he was about to die, we tried to contact his son who is working in a prominent company in LA and informed him about his dad's condition.He promised to visit and spent time with his dad, but never showed up. Sir J died and no one from USA arrived to attend! Only his scholars were there and the owner of the university took care of every thing for him!It was very sad for every one and the questions remains unanswered?
5 people like this
10 responses
@milkfish (375)
• Philippines
16 Apr 08
I would like to believe that there is bad blood between the father and son. The fact that he opted to stay away from his family and spend his retirement days in a far away country may mean that something is not right in their relationships. However, having a not so good relationship with our father should never prevent us to pay our last respect to them. I believe that a forgiving heart is all it takes. Whether our parents has been a good or a bad parent to us, we still owe them our lives.
• United States
17 Apr 08
absolutely, maybe time will come he will realize that especially if he will have his own family and son! I do know, hopefully, it wont happen to him! I know this is something that is truly painful!
@jeanniemay (1803)
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
What a good heart he got. My heart goes to him and I'm thankful that he find it more important to help and share what he got. It's not quite not happier though that he wasn't visited by his own family. Honestly, it is just sad. I don't even want to guess the reasons behind but still I am thankful that what he was gifted of was shared and paid forward in my country. Cheers! Thanks for sharing!
• United States
15 Apr 08
That's true, being an American! He has touched a lot of lives and help a lot of poor and deserving students who is now enjoying their life because of his assistance! One of the buildings of the university is even named after this man!
2 people like this
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
Wow! That's pretty nice. Where is it? And what is the name of the school. Something interesting to know about. Thank you for sharing!
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Apr 08
Foundation University Dumaguete City Philippines!
@kishusia (1069)
• India
16 Apr 08
It happens. This is life. In Hinduism, it is the God-assigned duty of a son to carry out last rites of his father. But there are cases where sons have not done their duty. They will have to answer the God.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Apr 08
yea, I do know how he feels this moment you know! just curious! I mean the son!
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
15 Apr 08
Maybe he didn't leave the US in good terms with his son and family. It is sad that none of his immediate family were there when he passed away, even beforehand.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Apr 08
thats what also in our mind that maybe they were not in good terms when he left, the son often sent him vitamins and greet him when its father's day but besides that, no visit or call before!
• United States
15 Apr 08
Could it be possible that he spent so much time and money on the Universtiy and the scholars and didn't leave time for his son and family?
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Apr 08
Maybe but I am very sure that when he was still capable to travel, he is visiting them every year!but, it was stop when his doctor told him that its no longer safe for him to make long distance trips!
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
15 Apr 08
This was a very sad moment of realisation for Sir J. I get a strong feeling here that his son didn't agree with him retiring to the Philippines, but that he went anyway, to do what he wanted to do. Maybe Sir J thought it was just a momentary disagreement, and that when it came to his end, the son would have forgiven him and flown to the Philippines to be at his bedside. But perhaps he was wrong in thinking he might have been forgiven. After all, he had cut himself off from the family to help with education in a country far away from his own. I'm not sure about this, it seems a strange situation, but I would have thought that however the son felt about what his father wanted to do with his life, he should have shown his support and respect when he approached the end of his life. He should have made time to be at his bedside, to say goodbye. After all, whatever happened in later life, the father had given the son a good education for him to be working in a prominent company in the States. I just have the strangest feeling that he supported education in the Phillipines because he wanted to give a poorer country the education he was able to give his son. But, had his son scorned him for that? So sad.
@Darkwing (21588)
16 Apr 08
Yes, considering all the good he did for others, wherever it may have been in the World, I think the family, especially his son, should have been less selfish and more foregiving, of his father.
@Darkwing (21588)
17 Apr 08
Yes, thank goodness at least they were there to comfort him a little in his passing.
@Darkwing (21588)
17 Apr 08
Thank you so much for BR, my friend, and Brightest Blessings, always.
@winterose (39916)
• Canada
19 Apr 08
the only way to understand that is to talk to the son. Although this man might have been a great man in the public eye, we do not know what kind of relationship he had with his son. Maybe they had a big fight, maybe he did something to his son so bad he could not forgive him. Maybe he did not even intend to hurt his son but he did, maybe his son is just a spoiled brat we do not know and only the son knows why he did what he did.
• United States
21 Apr 08
I agree winterose! You got a very valid reasons also for his being unwilling to be in his dad's burial!
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Apr 08
that is very sad...perhaps they felt estranged from him since he left - it could be due to financial reasons - but mstly it might just be kids who couldn't take time out from their own lives.
• United States
21 Apr 08
Possible too, It's very strange since this is not really common, I mean cases like these is very rare. especially when we talk about families! It's the top most priorities of majority!
@icyorchid (2564)
• United States
18 Apr 08
Maybe he didn't leave in good terms with his son and family. It is sad that his immediate family was there when he passed away, even beforehand. His son may not have wanted to get into the problem with who called, I mean he doesn't know any of you, so he just wanted to be cordial to the person who called and tell them he would be there. We will never know now.
@magrylouyu (1630)
• United States
16 Apr 08
That is heartbreaking. I think maybe he didnt spend enough time with his son and too much time and money at the scholarship. Also with him being in a different country It's harder to know if he passed away. Expessially if nobody from the US showed up.
• United States
17 Apr 08
that might be another reason he has also for not showing up! I also don't know if they were againts of the program Sir J started in the PI!