To Love One as You Do not Love Him
April 15, 2008 9:36pm CST
Days ago, I read an article in a magazine. The title is "To Love One as You Do not Love Him or Her". I was enlightened by it. It says if you love someone as you do not love him, there would be more space, no extra expectation on him and a lot of misunderstandings would not appear. But how many people can make it? When we are in love, we are just like in a labyrinth and we ignore the right way to love the other instead of spoiling him too much. Days ago I became more and more dependent on him and his attitudes and feelings influenced me more and more. When I went to the supermarket I always considered what he liked and I bought what he liked. And when I cooked I thought of what he liked. And yesterday I bought hotpot good of Sichuan style because I knew days ago he wanted to have it but he did not buy it because I was in a cold and it was not ok to have spicy food. I bought it and cooked it very happily. And when I was in the supermarket I knew he had already been back home and I imagined he prepared the vegetables which I bought in the morning. But when I got back he stayed there with not any considerating of preparing the vegetables. I guessed he was spoiled by me and his family education that man had the priority of not doing housework. I asked him to join me preparing for the hotpot. When all things had been prepared, the smell of the hotpot was perfect, he said how it would be good if I bought a beer. I told him I thought of buying it but regarding his profession I gave up because I thought it was not good for him to drink beer every day. While we were having hotpot he said he had a cold but there was no trace that he wanted to stop eating. Therefore, I said hotpot had rich Vtamin C and it would be good for your health. And he went on and on and showing the painful expression on face because of the spice. I felt sad because what I had done did not bring any spiritual feeling of success. Although he was eating he drank water for one while or used other ways to show he could not stand the spice,he still could not convince me my work rewarded. And as he went on I felt very depressed because I did not need him to do things as he did not wish to cater for me. We finally exploded and I finally persuded him to let me go out for a walk alone. During the way I analyed what had happened. The basic reason is that " We love each other as we are in love". If I loved him as I did not love him, I would not have got into anger, I would not have bought the things just considering what he liked, I would have respected his expression without sadness, I would have gone on my way, I would have had no bad feelings when I saw he did not prepare the vegetables. I finally understand when you love him do not care him too much. He is a world and you are a world two. The two worlds would never be one. To love one as you do not love him means you respect his world and do not have expectation on his world and you never forgets your world. I guess this saying in the title is the good magic weapon to deal with the problems between lovers. To love one as you do not love him does not mean indifference but you love in a right way, just do what you want to do for him but not sacrifice yourself and with too much expectation on his feelings. No on can control others feeling and it is unstable to live on the other part. Wish all lovers good luck!