Reasons for husband and wife quarrel

Philippines
April 21, 2008 9:14am CST
They say that quarrel is unavoidable in any kind of relationship, much more in a couple. Surely, there'll be clashes and some fights because a husband and a wife are 2 persons with personality differences may it be slight difference or really at opposite poles, They are two persons capable of reasoning based on their own dispositions. What may be good for the wife may not be good for the guy's opinion or vice versa. What may be offensive for one person may not be offensive for the other one. I've heard of several stories regarding quarrels between a couple. Reasons range from as simple as difference in curtain color preference up to more serious reasons like infidelity. How about you? Let us hear your story. Maybe we could get some good lesson from it.
2 people like this
8 responses
@leoanu (2)
22 Apr 08
We accept quarrelling in all other relationships so there is nothing new in this one too.Give any excuse two different people coming from two different backgrounds etc etc---but is it not natural for people to fight or quarrel?If you think it is not then one of the partners is surely suppressing his/her feelings.So just dont think too much about these quarrels--they are just that quarrels!!Rather than brooding over them concentrate on having a world of your own with your favourite music hobbies friends and let out all your pent up energies there so that you can return with enforced vigour and enthusiasm----to quarrel? Ok if that's what you want!!!!
• Philippines
22 Apr 08
Hi. Haven't I written in the introduction that quarrels in a relationship is a natural and unavoidable thing? I guess I've made that clear. Even it's unavoidable, it is not justifiable to term "reason" an "excuse". Of course there are reasons why some things happen, right? Reasons are different from excuses. If you didn't like my topic, why waste your time "brooding" over my post, right? Hehehe. Just pulling your leg there. LOL! Anyways, thank you for making time to comment on my topic. Welcome to myLot!
23 Apr 08
So you have accepted they are unavoidable----why look for reasons for them if they are what they are!!What I mean is ---if they are unavoidable then move on and dont waste your time and energy over them---I actually agree with you!! oh why are we quarrelling hehehehehe --see they are, as you so rightly say, unavoidable---there are no excuses er.... reasons!! Oh no dont start again--thanks anyway for your comment!
@anjaan (1)
• Malaysia
7 Apr 09
I do face this problem, me and my partner quarrels once or twice a week and everytime we quarrels my partner wound say "we should just divorce", this hurts me alot..it happen again this morning..last night my husband stayed over with his mother..i did sms him to come back but he never..his job requires him to travell pretty frequent, we hardly have time for each other, i am as well completing my studies and my classes are at night after working hours..he gave reasons that im not home and the moment i reach i will sleep so its no point for him to come back..i felt pretty hurt, i feel im no value for him..i call him this morning to talk about it..i tried to explain to him i felt pretty hurt as he never come back home last night and he blamed me back that i never call him to ask him to be back..or i should have gone back to my mother in laws place since he is there after my class..whenever we quarrel its always my fault..he blames me for everything..im the problem creator..most of the time i cry to myself.. i spoke to my mother shared to her about how i felt..even told her that i dont wanna be with him anymore but my parents blamed me that i should just follow as my husband wants..my mother even said if i would to divorce him then its bad impression for my parents and adviced me to go on.. i feel i have no one else to share how i feel and no way to go..im so lost!!..
@p_vadla (1689)
• India
22 Apr 08
It is because of a mismatch between one's expectation of the other and the ground reality.This is one reason. It can be a learnt or an inherited trait. It also can be due to conflict within a person that goes out and gets reflected in the form of a quarrel. It can be due also to idleness.It can also be natural. It can be a necessity that enables one understand the other better.Lack of clear cut goals for the two together.Perception of a thing in different ways.
• Philippines
22 Apr 08
You got it all right. I never thought of all those reasons and now you made me realize. Wow! Thanks p_vadla!
@williamjisir (22914)
• China
21 Apr 08
Hello dear pebbles. There used to be some quarrels when our kid was small because of our treating the kid in a different way. But in fact, we seldom quarrel because we think that it is no good quarrelling with each other as it will only make our love worse without any effect at all. I am happy that both my wife and I think the same way.
• Philippines
22 Apr 08
I'm happy for the both of you too.
• Indonesia
21 Apr 08
You're right, the causes for these fights can be anything. For me and my husband, it range from where he puts his used socks, to where he went at nights But the main problem usually communication, whether he tells me where he went "honestly" or not. SOmetimes men like to hide something thinking it would be better for the wives to not know, but the truth is LYING is the worse mistake you could do.
• Philippines
22 Apr 08
Yes, I agree with you. I really hate it when he keeps secrets. LOL!
@Sir_bobby88 (8248)
• Singapore
21 Apr 08
I believe there is surely some communication break down that cause two person to quarrel . Every human being has their own selfish reason to be unhappy and quarrel with people yea .
• Philippines
22 Apr 08
Hi Sir_bobby88. Your answer holds true in my case. Most of the time communication is the problem.
• Pakistan
3 Sep 10
i am married for 3 years now ,i have a son.I stayed with my husband for 6 or 7 months then he left me at my Mom's place because of financial reasons,he lost his job and he has no money to take care of me & our child.He always find ways to quarrels with me like talking abusive about my mother etc..It really hurts me,but i couldn't tell him about my feeling but only i cry.I am really terrified of him because of his aggressive behavior .When he fights with me ,he dint speak to me for several days .
@melken (15)
22 Apr 08
Everyone is unique so we have individual differences might as well no marriage is perfect.Wife and husband should learn to listen and give way to ones opinion so fight will be avoided.My husband and I differ from raising our son I am more on talking while my husband is more on punishment. I strongly believe that sitting on a quiet place with your son is more effective than giving him punishment. I discuss it with my husband without my sons knowledge at first my husband disagree but later on I noticed that he really changed so it is better to discuss nicely than to fight over it.