So we broke up. Now she wants to get back together..........

@shamsta19 (3225)
United States
April 22, 2008 4:23pm CST
Don';t know if you';ve been following but we had a real rocky relationship. I really felt I wasn';t getting the respect I deserved. We broke up a month ago because she said some things at the time I could not forgive. I don';t think I have forgiven her for this. She has been calling me and telling me she misses me and she blames me for our separation. So for the past month we have been doing our own thing. She';s got an apartment on her own and I am in the middle of a move myself. I still think about her and neither of us has been with anyone else since we broke up. I mean I miss her for real and I also know that if we got back together nothing would change and I would most likely be unhappy. There';s a part of me that is hoping she learned a lesson in all this but I don';t think she has. It';s not like our relationship was all bad but the way I got treated was wrong. Is there really a dilemma here? Should I stay unhappy or unhappy and alone?
6 responses
• United States
22 Apr 08
This is one of those things you are going to have to make decision on your own, we can give advise but ultimately it is up to you. What you have to ask yourself is do you want to spend your life with someone that doesnt respect you. Do you not think you are worthy of that kind of respect, I dont know you but I believe life is too short to purposely put up w/ nonsence and being mistreated. It seems to me that you love her, and you always will, you shared time, happiness and memories that you will always have. But do you really want to continue with the bad times, relationships dont have to be that way and one day when you least expect it you may very well find that wonderful person that loves you in such a way that respect is a given, as it should be. My daughter was in a rocky relationship for 5 years, when she would call crying all I could tell her was it was her choice to be there in that situation, she finally realized she would always love him but was just used to the way he was with her but was not in love with him. Thankfully she moved on, You can too. It is a choice to be happy, make that choice and do something wonderful for yourself.
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
22 Apr 08
Thats what I do. Can I live the rest of my life like this? I did that and wound up here. Thank you for this response.
• United States
24 Apr 08
your welcome, just know that this time will pass and you will be able to move on. A broken heart is the wrost to heal, but time does heal all wounds, you feel this way always.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 May 08
Thank you for the BR :)
1 person likes this
@Inky261 (2524)
• Germany
26 Apr 08
Reheated coffee doesn`t taste good. Same applies to relationships.
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
26 Apr 08
Good way to put it.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
23 Apr 08
i understand your situation. there are some relationship where the problems never ceases to occur. whatever may be the option.i think you have to get over it as you know you can never be happy here. also i have seen that many relationships are like this.its easy to say than done.
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
26 Apr 08
You're right. Cause I thought I was over her and finding it hard to let her go. We've already been apart for over a month and just now am I saying we've broke up.
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
23 Apr 08
if nothing has changed then you should stay alone, yes you will be miserable for awhile but you were also miserable with her. At least if you are alone you may find someone else eventually that will treat you better.
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
26 Apr 08
And you read my last post about her and what I was going thru at the time so you know too. I keep hoping she learns a lesson in all this and I see she has not. She misses me too but I think she realizes what she lost now.
• Philippines
23 Apr 08
unhappy with a girl who doesnt treat you right? unhappy and alone? i'll choose the latter, that means being single gives you the opportunity to meet other people and BE with a girl who'll treat you right. who wants to be in a relationship that'll only make you miserable?nobody...
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
26 Apr 08
NOBODY! I love her and everything but you are right amd as painful as it might be to let go....
@mmiller26 (1932)
• Canada
22 Apr 08
If she said some things that you could not forgive, and you're still not willing to forgive her, then I don't think continuing the relationship will be good for you. Particularly if she doesn't take responsibility for her actions, and blames you entirely for the separation. In order to move forward with her, you both would need to forgive each other and clear the air, and make real change so that it doesn't happen again. If neither of you are willing to make those compromises, any relationship you had would likely be unhealthy. I'm sure you miss each other, and that's natural after being together a while. But it doesn't mean that you should get back together either. You've both taken steps to move on in that you're living in separate dwellings. There are plenty of other women out there who will give you the respect you deserve.
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
22 Apr 08
Im thinking its the only solution. Thanks.