Being The Best Mom I Can Be

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I am a mom and I have a 9 yr. old son who lives w/ his father and stepmother. Sometimes I feel like I am a failure at being a mom for my son's father married another woman and now she has stepped in and is trying to play my roll of being a mom. I love my son alot I try to do the best for him that I can by getting him things I know he will like, to talking to him and seeing him when I can that's when his father let's me which isn't very often. I keep trying to tell my self that she can try to play mommy to him but she can never take away the fact that I had him and I'm his real mother. It's just frustrating at times knowing that I'm missing alot that goes on w/ him while he is growing up for they really don't tell me much. I know my son was mad as ever at me when his father and I split. I tried to explain it to him but he was only 5 at the time and just yelled in my face as he walked out the door with his dad " Your not my mom anymore I'm going with my new mom " That right there just tore my heart up. His father replied to him " don't say that she will always be your mother " In the last 4 yrs. my son has grown to accept the changes but tells me he now can't wait til he's 18 so he can be w/ me again. I told him To take it one day at a time and enjoy his childhood that I will always be here for him no matter what. I think about him all the time and when I am haveing a bad day or just feel like giveing up I just look at his picture see that smile and my heart has to smile and I feel better. I told my son that I opened a saveings bank account for him and he would have money to do w/ what he wanted when he got to be of age. My son say's he know's I'm his real mother and he say's he loves me but deep down I'm still torn. Has any one else in here delt w/ something like this and how do you cope w/ it?