Child Support

United States
April 29, 2008 1:23pm CST
I have been getting child support since 1998; in 2000 I got my ex to raise it as he was making 18/hr in Seattle. And I needed help with our 3 kids and my minimum wage job. It is now 2008 and he still pays and yes I am so lucky compared to many women and men out there that do not. But my ex makes close to $6000 per month and he still feels that what he has been paying for his three children ages 17, 15, and 12 is too much money. I have an open door policy for visiting and always have even though he married my little sister and they piss me off. I have my kids because of him and I appreciate that I didn't create these beautiful people on my own. But He does things like come into town and buy a tv for his car so his 1 year old can watch tv on the way home, buys Jerserys with his favorite team, new shoes for him, his wife (mysister) and his baby and my children are with him while he is doing it. He did take them to lunch though. My daughter asked him for help with her homecoming dress and he said no ask your mom I pay her child support. I do have a mortgage, car to get them around in and lots of bills including a huge food bill. He pays way less than 400 per kid-way less. We all tip toe around the subject to avoid conflict- I hate conflict there is already enough-my kids are still hurt that he moved away when they needed him, he has not been around at all, he married my sister and they give all to the baby. What would you do if anything and how would you go about not causing grief if possible.
4 responses
@djedtek (232)
• United States
7 May 08
wow, are you serious, i was paying $397 monthly but now i hhave custody of my child for the time being and i was working a 8 hr job at the time! i still cant believe that! but just talk to him about your situation because when it comes to the the kids, im sure he'll do somthing about it!
• United States
10 May 08
Wow, $397 for 1 kid is alot, your kids mother should'nt been asking you for any extra money with what she was getting. How was your cs almost 400 and you were only making 8 an hr? Since you have custody, do you get cs? If not, you should be.
• United States
26 May 08
I can't image how hard it would be that he's married to your sister now and seeing the things that he does for her kids that he may not do for yours. You could try talking to him... I don't know if that would work... Unfortunately there may not be anything you can do. I wish I had a better answer but it just sounds like a tough situation overall.
@newtondak (3950)
• United States
21 May 08
First of all - assuming there is a legal divorce decree with a child custody/visitation agreement, allowing him visitation is not a privilege that you can give or take away depending on how much or whether he pays child support. One is not linked to the other - you can not legally withhold visitation rights because he doesn't pay child support. In addition to the circumstances of the children for which he is ordered to pay support, the court takes into consideration that he has a wife and another child to support. It seems like for the amount he makes, the amount he pays is reasonable. How much is it that you would consider to be an adequate amount for him to pay?
• United States
29 Apr 08
How much does he pay? How much is "way less than 400 per kid"? Is that $400 a month? Have you talked to him and your sister about your finacial situation and asked him to help you out? Does he have court supported visitation? Have you talked to other members of your family about this?