People who are stubborn or selfish how to tell them anything?

Singapore
May 6, 2008 3:41am CST
I was working on web project with a friend who wanted to start an online busniess. So i kept telling that if he does some of things that he wanted to he would lose out. So we had a long chat, in the end he was still stubborn and wanted to do things his way. I have quite a few friends and relatives who are stubborn. When i try to explain, they seem to be listening. In the end they will still go on with what they want. Such thinking affects people around. Like for me if i am going to be stubborn about something i would lay down the facts and figures. Even if i ask them to do the same , they would simply say "it will work out cause i have done my homework". So how do you get around with such people? For me i let them have thier way. Do you have any method that could help to tell them to stop being stubborn? Share your experiences and thoughts?
1 person likes this
17 responses
@pooh08 (673)
• Vietnam
7 May 08
I don't play with the people who selfish. The selfish men don't have a friend. Everybody say the true but they alway say they true more. Stubborn men can advised by everybody. Although they stubborn but they can think what is right and what is wrong.
1 person likes this
@phoenix25 (1543)
• United States
6 May 08
Lilypad, it sounds to me like you are trying too hard. I have had similar experiences with people. One girl was going out with a guy who was abusive and no matter how much I explained that the abuse would eventually get worse, she still would not leave the guy. She would say, "Yeah, you're right," but she wouldn't do anything about it. I eventually realized that people will do what they want to do anyway. You are sweet to be concerned for your friends and relatives, but if they are stubborn there is nothing you can do to make them otherwise. Believe me, if there were a way to do this, I would have done it with my mother-in-law, the most stubborn woman on the planet. In the end, all you can do is wash your hands of it, know that you tried to help your friend, and let them make their own mistakes. They will learn from them and possibly realize that you were right. We can't save everyone from themselves.
• Singapore
6 May 08
Thats true, but sometimes there are people who get manipulated by others to not listen to you. So sometimes it is sad to such people going like this when they evalute but be bias. thanx for uplifting comment..
@phoenix25 (1543)
• United States
6 May 08
It can be sad when people can't see the truth standing before them, but that is a part of life. What may be obvious to you may not be so obvious to someone else. They just have to learn themselves. Eventually, you might get lucky enough for one of your friends to realize that you were right and they might take you more seriously the next time you give advice.
@ReoTwo (194)
7 May 08
First of all, mostof us have friends, or family that suffer from the "overactive stubborn gene." But, you have to realize that sometimes stubborness in a person regarding a particular idea, suggestion, system, etc., doesn't necessarily make them wrong. They make be right or know what they're talking about without all the facts and figures (That I rely on a lot to to prove a point too). Their gut feelings may be so strong, that they can't let it go. And getting around such people, what does that mean / You should'nt have to even consider getting around someone when you considering something as serious as going into business with them. There's got to be some meeting of the minds and compromises if you really want to succeed. You can't continue to be somewhat of a pushover, "I just let them have their way". No one should just tell someone to stop being a certain way either, It doesn't work like that! You would'nt want your feelings about something to be taken so lightly; and you thought of as being so weak that you can just be told to stop. In your case you could just discuss, debate, talk over, or whatever of mean syou use to settle a disagreement. (Especially, without character attacks on either side.) Just let everyone have their opinion, we're all entitled to one. Because when it all boils down to it, grown people are going to do what they want to do anyway. If you disagreements are so strong and too many with your future web project partner, maybe you both should go on you own if there seems to be no resolution in sight. Good Luck!
• Singapore
8 May 08
Ermm good good., But the problem here is money is involved. When decisions are to be made regarding the busniess it should be between partners. He or she should not make a decision on his own without consulting the partner...and being sutbborn on it. yeah gut feelings they are good, sometimes the outcome is good or very bad. Issue here is in the beginning if someone uses his or her gut feeling and does something which affects everyone..imagine the outcome. yeah it could be good. But i always remember this " When you do something good for someone it is a short term celebration, do something bad to them and they willl know you forver" it will be harder to convince anyone to work with you again..i am sry if i am harsh but i am a practical person.
@mbs730 (2156)
• Canada
7 May 08
Hmm unfortunately I cannot help you there. I am stubborn with some things and yet flexible with others. But my husband is somewhat stubborn but my mother in law is as stubborn as can be. Disgustingly stubborn. If its not done in her way, its the highway.
• China
7 May 08
I'm a very stubborn person, too. But if someone's usggestion is very to the point, I will consider carefully.
@Denanna (47)
• United States
6 May 08
My husband tells me that am selfish all the time and I look at him like he crazy, am so not selfish and it really makes me upset.
@phoenix25 (1543)
• United States
6 May 08
Selfish people have a tendency to call other people selfish. My dad used to do it to me all the time even though I did everything for my parents and did all the housecleaning by myself. I wouldn't listen to your husband.
@anex08 (868)
• Philippines
6 May 08
Being stubborn is one of a person's trait, it is a measure that we still believe ourselves and wanted to pursue what we think is right. But there are instances that this trait of us is also a threat to our success because we do not want to listen. To deal with them, just let them do their way atleast you shared what you think is right, in the end if they are wrong they will easily learn from their mistake and approach you again to say " you're right" i will do it your way this time. cheers!!
• Singapore
6 May 08
Hi anex08, but i do not think i am that forgiving this days, to people who come back to me after making a fool out of me.. but thanx for the advice.
• United States
7 May 08
Let him do it his own way. Live and learn? He can't say you didn't try? Stubborness will eihter make him fail..or he'll WAKE UP and learn and study? You tried. Now let it go and let him learn form the school of "Hard Knocks."
@sexyjo (69)
• Trinidad And Tobago
7 May 08
there isn't much you can do, there are some people who jus can't see it no other ways than there way, i normally leave them to their opinion and allow them to learn from there mistakes.i have family memebers when you are explaining anything pertaining to work or normal discussion , the first thing they say is "i'll hear you out but that doesn't mean i will listen to you ", i say what ever.don't fustrate your self .
@fifileigh (3620)
• United States
7 May 08
i just ignore them. it is their project, let them do it their way. if it is wrong, they will learn from their own mistakes. and if it works for them, they are happy.
• Philippines
7 May 08
What I usually do is reverse psychology. People who are stubborn or selfish would like to do things that are contrary to what is expected of them. They find happiness in being distinct in every way. If that doesnt work, I'll try to stroke their ego. Like making them think that my idea was their idea.
• Singapore
7 May 08
Well I guess you'll just have to see how it turns out to be. Who knows that your friend's idea may work? But if your friend's idea is proven wrong, perhaps you can talk to him about it to be receptive to one's idea.
@youless (67671)
• Guangzhou, China
7 May 08
I know how hard to deal with the people like that. But I like to be frank and I don't care about it. I just finish what I want to speak to them and that's all. If they don't listen to me, it's their choice. Time will prove which one will be right or not. I love China
• India
6 May 08
oh my, your right it is the most frustrating thing, when people are very stubborn. i take it for a long time, i bare with it keep giving them there way and then one dayi just flare up real bad. either i loose it and just dont bother with them, or i keep persisting. sometimes if you just refuse and do not give in it works. guess stubborn people try their luck and when they know it is not working they give in too.
@ajaygupta (168)
• India
6 May 08
just highlight the things with more benefits pretend u r ignoring them and just see they will exactly do as u think things to be done
@ajaygupta (168)
• India
6 May 08
just highlight the things where it gives more benefits and pretend ignoring them.
@madlees (1381)
• India
6 May 08
Hi lilypad, Some think they know batter and they do not listen to others at all. I have seen those types and I would not go near them with an advice good and convincing or not. It is as if you are just shouting into the deaf ears. There is no point at all, whatever we keep telling them either convincing or not , they will not believe. They think that they can do better and that we did not handle correctly and that's why we could not get the result. So let them do what and let them face it. After that I learnt to keep away from people of that type. Why waste my energy over there?
@spoiled311 (5503)
• Philippines
6 May 08
well that is really difficult. i mean, he or she is stubborn already so why would they listen? anyway, i find that prayer is an effective tool. it may not be as fast as we may think, and may depend upon several factors, but the results are more favorable and lasting. that is my experience, you can try it to, and exercise your faith. :-) good day!