What would you do if your biological father raped you?
May 15, 2008 7:06am CST
I feel this is worthy discussing on this big forum of mylot especially when this bad act has become rampant among our families and communities. Many lives have been lost through murder, mental illness and social rejection due to rape after effects. How would you encourage a victim of such cirmstance?
• United States
15 May 08
First off, this is a very difficult subject to discuss with the victim. Such a father often employs a variety of intimidation techiques to silence the victim. It can be I'll kill you, somebody else in the family, the entire family. I'll do this to your younger sister then. Things like that. Simultaneously the victim will be discredited. In case something does come out, she's just a little liar anyway. All this makes it very difficult for the victim to talk to others about what is happening and to seek out help. Sometimes they don't even know that what is done to them is not normal. They believe, every child is treated like that. They also often believe it's their fault and the treatment they receive is some sort of punishment. If you suspect something or know for sure, the victim has to be approached very carefully. The victim has to learn to understand that what is/was done to him/her was wrong but it is/was not their fault. They have to understand that seeking help and talking about it won't result in the realization of the threats that were made by the father. This is a slow process. Many victims, even after the rapist/abuser was sentenced in a court of law, still believe it was their own fault, and that they ruined their family, not the rapist/abuser. The healing process is a long one and should be handled by a professional. I'm not such a professional, therefore, I would make sure the victim knows that he/she can talk to me at any time, and that there would be no harm from that. Depending on the situation I would try and gain his/her trust and help to report and get away from the situation, even if the own family might not believe him/her. If it is already out in the open, I would offer support and encouragement. It is indeed a terrible situation to deal with.