don’t let it go… instead,, let it grow!!!

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"That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time." this is my fave quote from the movie "never been kissed",, i may sound so cheezy out here but i dont care,, it's a girl thing you know!!! i have watched this movie long time ago (many times in fact! LOL),, and since then i wonder what was it like to be really in love,, i mean does it really exist? can you feel that moment or it is just one of the propaganda of the directors and writers in our world? i continue to searched and i feel that maybe this is only a state of mind yet i would still want to find out, someday... i hope... (of course i am hoping at that time,, hehe) i have loved before,,, and i know everybody does experience such phenomenon in life. during these times i wonder if what i feel is love or just affection,, how will i know? i am always very intuitive about everything and since i can remember, i used my intuition to guide me and direct me to the right path (in my humble opinion). i almost give up,,, i feel that love shouldnt be like this,, isnt it supposed to be a happy one? a feeling of inspiration? a feeling of connection? a feeling where you feel complete? an answer of your own puzzle? searching for the one you truly love is not easy,,, yes, there i say it!!! why and how? we always think we are in love, we feel that person is the right one,,, yes that very moment we feel that is what we have although we are not certain and we can only be certain when it end or during the process of togetherness,,, and yet we feel it is not the completeness we are looking for,,, not the feeling we want… and we will be left out there wondering what the hell is missing. Some people end up being contented consoling themselves that what they have is true love,,, I don’t argue,,, coz I know deep inside their hearts they are still questioning what’s out there. Yes,, you can lie to him/her but never to your self,, you can always pretend it is not happening and you can ignore it forever or accept the fact that you mislead yourself. I don’t want to sound like whatever you feel is wrong or unreal , it’s just that,, we continue to search and we end up searching though it is there already right in front of us,, yet we are too blind to see and feel… Love is always a mystery for me… But when you have real love in your heart,, you will surely know when it arrives and knock in your heart.. believe me it is very true. Maybe I am just being too inflicted by love,,, but I just wanna share what I have experienced… What I wrote above is something that is being inculcated in my heart and mind,,, it may be just a movie thing but I want to find the treasure and the map lies inside me. I finally find it,, I have it right next to me… It is a very wonderful feeling,, never thought that it will be like this, what the movie states is the same thing I feel,, it is so amazing that my eyes cry (without me knowing) coz I am overwhelmed with love and with happiness,, Yes I have kissed 3 man (dang! Do I really have to number it,,,oh well) and nothing comes close to such feeling,, a feeling that is very complete,, it completes me,, suddenly my puzzle is answered… I don’t believe in love at first sight,, but when it happens to me,, I am surprised! I only met one man in my life time who believes that he have found true love and he is very ecstatic when he shared his life with his wife with me,, I told him I want to find what he have found… He told me then,, when it happens… ‘YOU JUST KNOW IT” and there will be no more question left behind… It excites me… and yes now I have it too… Now I understand what the movie says… Now I understand what “THE MAN” told me about true love… I have the proof,,, it is very satisfying,, the long waiting is over… Do you think im insane? Do you believe me? I am not sure how to say what I have is true… like I said,,, when it happens,, you just knew it! But regardless of such feeling,, love is not something that is just there and have to grow on its own,,, it is our part to make it grow and bear fruit.. We all dream to love and be love,, but rarely we find it hard or we don’t even work to make it work… Once you have encountered what I described,, don’t let it go… instead,, let it grow!!! Here is a passage I have read and keeps me inspired… [b]" love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.' The perfect love would be one that gives all and expects nothing. It would, of course, be willing and delighted to take anything it was offered; the more the better. But it would ask for nothing. For if one expects nothing and ask nothing, he can never be deceived and disappointed. It is only when love demands that it brings on pain.”[/b] I think I have said a lot!!! Writing this makes me smile,, it brings so much joy in my heart,,, this is what makes me, builds me and makes me whole over and over again… To end this,, here is another quote from the movie itself that I love as well. “penguins spend their whole lives looking for that one other penguin and when they meet them, they know. And they spend the rest of their lives together."