How Do I Deal?
By missgabbi
@missgabbi (52)
United States
May 17, 2008 9:37pm CST
I'm not really sure if this is the right catagory for this discussion, but I'm gonna put it here anyway. My grandmother (on my dad's side) died last night and I'm not sure how to feel about it. I know, the obvious answer is: "SAD" but the only problem with that is I didn't really know her.
My dad and I were estranged for a long time--like 14 years, and we just really started talking again over the last year. I always knew who she (my grandma) was, but I never had anything to do with her or that whole side of my family. So I can't decide how to deal with this emotion I feel. I'm disappointed because I was the only child that didn't know her. And now that my dad and I are cool, I don't know if I should go to the funeral. On one hand it's about respect, on the other hand it's about my comfort. I'm not sure if I'm comfortable in a church with 150 people that I don't know. How would you deal with this situation. If you've been through something similar, what was it like for you?
2 people like this
5 responses
@FaerieAne2003 (679)
• United States
19 May 08
You know exactly what I did in that situation. I didn't go, and I'm glad I didn't. I don't know most of my dad's people, and I don't like the ones I do know. So I didn't go. I don't really know what to tell you, other than to go with your own comfort above all. If you decide to put aside your own comfort and go anyway, I'll support you in that, too. You are my best friend, and I'm here for you no matter what.
So do you still need to go shopping/applying today?
@welshdai (77)
•
18 May 08
my advice would be to follow your heart, as your said you might feel uncomfortable with 150 people you do not know,but it would you feel something buying going as you might regret it later in life.Also by going you are there for your dad for emotional support which i think would mean a lot to him,but at the end of the day it your choice,i think the best thing is to just take the time to think about it and what you want to do and how it will effect you.
@warmweatherwoman (2233)
• Atlantic City, New Jersey
18 May 08
Honestly missgabby, my decision would be to deal with it the best way that makes me (you)comfortable. If you do not feel comfortable going to the church- then don't. In your own time you will come to terms with this situation- we as humans, have it come naturally to us to move past emotional situation that impact our lives and the lives of those around us.
Maybe the best thing to do is console your father in his time of need over his loss.
@Palmerhusky (843)
• United States
18 May 08
first of all i want to tell you how sorry i am for your loss. losing family that way is never easy.
about 5 years ago a friend who was like family to me and it was devastating. so i definitely understand how you feel
its going to take time but the best i can recomend is to try and keep yourself busy. if your a religious person..prayer helps quite a bit. but you also are having a hard time figuring out your feelings on the matter. so if you are having a hard time feeling anything about it why dont you try to learn more about her and what she did in her life, what she was like and that can help at least feel something.
also be there for your parents. they have to be going through hell right now. be an extra shoulder. believe me they will appreciate it.
im about to go through the same thing with my father whom i am not close to at all. hes dying of cancer. these are the same things im going to have to do for myself.
