I just broke up with my boyfriend
By Simoneetah
@Simoneetah (420)
Canada
May 20, 2008 12:05pm CST
I am so confused right now. It was something that I have been thinking about for over a year now. We were together for 3 1/2 years. I've posted before about some of my feelings when we almost broke up before. We are remaining to be friends but I just don't know if this is what I want. He doesn't want to break up and really wants to work things out. I think I need to do what is best for me and act on these feelings that I've had for a long time. We spoke about everything that has been bothering me and when the first time was that I thougt about breaking up. I don't want to go back with him and regret it and I don't want to stay apart and regret that too. I'm not as messed up about this as he is. I've told him that I don't know if I want to try to work it out. I need him to be a lot of things and become independant. He needs to do a lot of growing on his own and then maybe I will reconsider.....I think....I don't know....I miss him.
5 responses
@eccentricmoi (206)
• Philippines
31 May 08
that's the complexity of love. been there, done that.. a couple of times. sometimes the agony of being too far away or not with him is same as being with him but having all the dilemmas and stresses accompaniment.
if you're doing this for both of you, in order for you to grow and bloom and be independent, well i can say you're doing the right thing. it's only confusing and maybe still painful because you'res till entertaining this. they say moving on is difficult, yeah it is. but mind over matter, it'll make a headway. goodluck girl!
1 person likes this
@Simoneetah (420)
• Canada
2 Jun 08
You so hit the nail on the head. The fact that we still communicate doesn't help because I still have the samem worries and frustrations about him. Itt's just hard because I want to remain friends. I know that this might not work out but I see that it might not work because of how he and I feel about each other.
@muirn88 (13)
• United States
31 May 08
I was just in your situation with my boyfriend of four years. I'm currently unemployed and been looking for a job on top of trying to manage a full relationship and family problems. And he was the biggest concern so I broke up with him. He just wouldn't grow up. What you need now is to just try and take some time away from him. Believe me, you have no idea how clear your head gets when all those boyfriend thoughts aren't filling it up. Do what is best for you.
In my case, we got back together but to be totally honest, I'm still not sure about the whole thing. Just take your time, I know you miss him now but in a few days you might have a whole new perspective on the whole thing.
@Simoneetah (420)
• Canada
2 Jun 08
Thanks for your advice. It is good to talk to someone who has been in my situation before. It is so true about taking time away because all those thoughts are still present.
@shyambncl (34)
• India
20 May 08
break it for some days say 5-7 days. If you feel depressed,sad etc.it means you love him very much.good luck
1 person likes this
@freeservice (111)
• India
22 May 08
We both are sailing in the same boat. This very much happens when we are more independant than our parters. Consult some of your very close friends. I consulted my parents because I'm very close to them especially my Mom. She understands me the most and has more experience than me on trusting people. She met this guy and called him home many times. Now she feels that he is the one for me and she says I need to be strong because time will change our dependancies very soon. I'm now convinced and I've discussed all my thoughts with him. Meanwhile, my Mom spoke to his parents and they have assured us about the backup financial stability of the family to support me in everyway after marriage :-) All the best to you dear. I suggest keeping silent for some days and then you'll get your answer yourself.
1 person likes this
@Simoneetah (420)
• Canada
2 Jun 08
Thanks for yiyr advice. I've spoken to a few close friends which has helped a bit. I have not and will not speak to my parents about this. We are close but this is something I don't want their input on. I know that they are not too fond of him and don't want to hear any negative things they have to say about him. I still care for him and he is a great person and I think it would be very infuriating if they started. My family doesn't know a thing. Both our parents don't know eachother well and he is not that close with his mother so he doesn't and hasn't spoken to any one about us breaking up.
