What to do, what to do...
@quiltedblessings (1066)
United States
May 24, 2008 6:16pm CST
Okay so my husband and I are gearing up for a trial seperation. His idea. The problem is, he is very "attached" to me, you know, the whole "dependent" thing. I have a feeling that he is going to come back to me in less than a month, but only because it is more comfortable. I don't want to have him come back to me unless it is because he realizes just how much he loves me......
Sigh.... This is a toughie...
2 people like this
4 responses
@StarBright (2798)
• United States
25 May 08
You have to help me out on this one. I have been married 40 years and I don't understand TRIAL SEPERATIONS. What the??? Counseling, yes. "Let's TRY and live without each other?" Ummmm. I don't know. Does that open the door for dating? Then one of you starts singing that song "I Get Along Without You Very Well.' And it's his idea!?!?! And you think he loves you too much to live without you?!?! Personally, (based on the "Sigh" at the end of your discussion) I think you are going to miss him more. How does this attachment translate into HIS need to be free? How does his dependence on you bother you? If he won't do anything for himself, you can cure that - gently, but firmly. If you spoiled him be doing everything for him, then unspoil him by making him take on some responsibilities. It won't happen overnight, but it is possible with patience and a lot of love.
Please forgive me if I am speaking out of turn. I do so want anyone who can to save their marriage. Unless there is violence or other forms of cruelty, I always try to find a way to bring love and joy back. It is not always easy, but very worth it when it happens.
@mummymo (23706)
•
25 May 08
Oh Honey i think you really have to tell him that and make sure he understands that! My friend had a similar situation and things worked out just fine eventually but it takes a lot of work! Make sure he knows you won't just settle for having him there if that is what you want! If I were you i would make sure he worked to get back and makes you feel as special as you deserve to! I hope all works out for you - stay strong sweety. xxx
@kimbers867 (2539)
• United States
25 May 08
I was in the same position during my first marriage. I wanted my husband to woo me all over again and to rekindle our romance. Well, I was in for a rude awakening. He never tried. My ex was totally dependent on me or he led me to believe that. After I left the only time we talked was 18 months later when he needed me to sign paperwork regarding the house.
I wish you best during this trying time.
