She Broke My Families Heart
June 1, 2008 11:06pm CST
My former uncle's funeral was held on Friday. I was not able to attend, as I do not go to funerals. But my aunt, uncle, and a few cousins attended. Aside from the two cousins who father was the guest of honor. This uncle had been married to my mother's sister. They had to boys. The marriage did not last long and he started dating another woman while still married to my aunt. So naturally, my family didn't care much for him. By 1980, he was divorced from my aunt and married the new woman in June of 1980. She gave birth to her first son in September of the year that they married. My aunt passed away from colon cancer in 1983. I had been living with my aunt bofore she got really sick from the cancer, but had since moved in with her ex-husband and his new wife. Although my aunt and I did not get along, I loved her very much. When I lived with her, I was 12 years old. My mom had died from cancer in 1980. My aunt would make a lot of mean comments to me about my mom all the time. She would say things like my mom was very depressing and she was always watching the news and crying. She was also the first one to tell me, in not so nice a way that my mom had spent time in a mental hospital. It hurt me so bad and I could not stand to be around her. Because we did not get along, I ran away from home after a big fight we had had. I ended up staying with a girl who went to my school. I barely knew her, but her mom allowed me to stay a few days. Then she told me that she had to call my aunt and let her know where I was. My aunt said that she needed to send me home, because she was my legal guardian. I went home the next day. But eventually I ended up living with my aunt's ex-husband and his new wife. She was a registered nurse and a very nice lady. On my aunt's death bad, she asked her ex-husband to raise me. I stayed with them for about two years and then moved on. She had been such a wonderful mother to me. She even sat beside me at my aunt's funeral, while the husband sat in the back. This is why it totally breaks my heart that 28 years later, when the husband dies, she does not mention my aunt anywhere on the obituary. She makes it seem like my aunt's boys were hers and the my aunt never even existed. The boys are of course grown now and I haven't had the opportunity to talk to them and see how this makes them feel. But I and the rest of my family are pretty upset by this omission. I have come to understand that my aunt was going through a lot back then. I mean, after all she was dying. I have forgiven her for the way that she treated me and I sort of understand. I have not seen or spoken to the second wife in 24 years. She was asking about me when she saw my family. She does not know the adult me, I am probably the only one in my family that would ask her to her face, why she did not include my aunt in the obituary. He was married to my aunt and had two boys, before she ever came into the picture. To top it all off, she mentioned every one of her family members and known of them could even stand my uncle. I want to know what she is trying to hide. I know that she raised my cousins for a big part of their lives. But the fact still remains that she did not give birth to either one of them. Do you think that I am wrong to be so upset? Or should I just let it go?