June 3, 2008 1:05am CST
I introduced my four month old baby girl to her paternal grandparents last Saturday. My daughter's father still has not seen her. We have not spoken since I was 2 months pregnant, the beginning of August. It was never really clear why we stopped talking. I always thought it was bcs I was a little freaked about the pregnancy bcs I already had 3 children, I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship with my other kids father,and I had realized that this was not the man for me and my kids and he was upset that I was not excited about the pregnancy. This does get interesting. So, anyway, I had been mulling over the decision of whether I should go to his parents house to introduce this precious gift and how to do it. He told me at the beginning that he told them I was pregnant. O.k. so I went to their home and said "would you like to meet your grand-daughter?" They were so welcoming is was beautiful. They were shocked as could be expected because they did not know about her at all. But there is more to the story. Not even 1 week ago, another girl came by with a 3 week old baby of their sons that was also not known about. And get this his current girlfriend is pregnant right now on purpose bcs he wanted a child so badly, she "proved her love to him" by getting pregnant. Turns out she got pregnant right about when my daughter was born. The two of them are now fighting terribly and she threatens to leave him and not let him see their child. And before this planned child is born (just so he can have a child of his very own) he finds that before conception of that one he already had 2 children. He still has not seen my daughter bcs "he is going through a lot right now." Can you imagine what his parents are feeling and what he is feeling, what his girlfriend is feeling? I understand that this week has been a shock but I feel he should still see his daughter. I was told by his parents that when he found out about this other child he began seeing that one everyday since. Now, apparently he is overwhelmed. I get that it is a lot to take in but why should my daughter get put on the back burner? Am I wrong in feeling that way?
• United States
3 Jun 08
That would be quite a shock. I would give him some time to get over the initial shock and work on bonding with his first known child. You and your family are giving her enough love for right now, I don't think it will be that big of an impact on her if he's not in her life all the time for right now. Hang in there. If he steps up, that would be great. But if he doesn't, you can handle it:)
• United States
3 Jun 08
I do not think you are wrong for This I have tried for 7 years not to let my son be part of his fathers life now at 7 my son made his own mind up about his real father and ask to not have to see him again so I do not force the issue though sometimes he ask I tell what I can and I never say anything bad about his father in front of him