Does my sister even think before say something to me?

@Valenas (1510)
United States
June 10, 2008 12:43pm CST
Her latest statement is that it is rather selfish of me to let mother pay for my college education, that if I cannot pay for it myself, I should not go at all. She started throwing accusations at me about that last night, and my grandmother told her that Mother would not have to pay the full price. She said, "Oh yeah? Why is that?" while still in her tone, and Grandma told her that I had earned a 75 percent four-year scholarship, and that we would only have to provide about 25 percent of the expenses. Also, I am not boarding there, it is local, so we do not have to worry about those costs. Just gas, (which, since I will have to use the truck, I will probably be the one putting gas in it), books, and the classes themselves. My sister paused for a moment, and told me that she still though that I was selfish. I told her that I did not want to hear any more of it, and she told me that I am ignorant because I refused from that point on to listen to what she had to say. She made it sound like I am the only kid that has ever gotten financial support from her parents to send her to college. I hardly ask my parents for anything. I use my allowance, which I am grateful to have because I do understand that most kids do not get one themselves, sometimes to take my mother and grandmother out for lunch, or to go to the movies with Grandma and/or my friends. My sister cannot afford that because she uses hers to cover her cellphone bill, and also needs our mother to pay the rest of it every month because she always goes over. She asks Grandma and Mother for things that she does not need, and expects them to always go out of their way to get something for her. She smokes, and does not have a job to buy the cigarettes for herself. Her boyfriend came down here to live with us until he could find his own place, and she threw a fit when he decided to be nice and pay mother rent for living here. Mother would have otherwise had to have dug deeper into her pockets and paid to house another person! I did not ask mother to even pay for my education. For the longest time, I did not even want to go to college, and she, as well as close friends and other family, finally pushed me into making the decision towards the beginning of the year. She told me to get a better education already knowing that she might have to pay for even 100 percent of the costs. If mother wants me to get a better education, and we have the money to do so, why not? We are not poor, but we're not "loaded", either. But, if I am selfish, what is my sister?
1 person likes this
1 response
• United States
10 Jun 08
As a parent (far from loaded) of a 12 year old I can say I will have no problem helping her with her schooling. I feel it is my duty to help her prepare for life including schooling because it will give her the opportunity to do better in life. You are far from selfish for accepting her help. Parents want the best for their children. She is doing this because she loves you. I have told my daughter the rules already: go to school or pay rent. So long as she is in school I will do anything to help her because I think a further education is very important. If she decides to fore go school then she is on her own. My daughter is level-headed like you and a good student herself so I am hoping she will stay on that path. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach him to fish and he eats for a lifetime. School will feed you for a lifetime. The fact that you have earned a scholarship shows you are not wasting your time in school. You should be proud of yourself. Do not feel bad for accepting the help. Look at this way, if you finish school and become well off you can pay her back all you want. The best way to pay her back, though is by just doing well in school. As for your sister, she will eat for a day. She will probably struggle more than you because of her attitude. So, don't beat yourself up for accepting help that will prepare you for life.
@Valenas (1510)
• United States
10 Jun 08
Thank you very much for your encouraging words, Vic! I am glad that, as a parent, you are able to raise your child in such a manner. School or pay rent--if only more parents offered those choices, maybe more children would do more with their lives. My sister refuses to go to college because she wants to rub it in my face and have it hang over our heads that mother paid for my college. Thank you again, and I wish the best to your daughter as she enters high school in a few years, and later, college.