His MOTHER...

@cryw0lf (1302)
United Kingdom
June 12, 2008 5:49am CST
I don't mean to be nasty but she's a control freak. I feel disliked even though he's telling me "Im welcome". What is it with Daughter / mother in law's relationships? To me it was just a common "disagreement" sort of thing but now it's more reality, and it's driving me nuts. I've refused to spend day's at his mothers house and i know soon she's going to start asking questions --- When she started an arguement! How can i avoid her and not hurt my boyfriends feelings? I know it bothers him. But this is just one sacrafice i really dont want to make. I feel incredibly awkward around her, and i've explained this to him. He's really sweet about it and understands, him and his mother have a sort of "Love/Hate" relationship. He loves her but she drives him mad, same with my mother. How have you reacted to your mother-in-law? Or. What have you done to make a mence? Thanks.
4 responses
@nanayangel (7720)
• Philippines
13 Jun 08
Hi there Crywolf! Nice nickname. Anyways, I think it's because the mother is reluctant to let go of his baby and the thing that another woman is getting in the picture adds alot to the insecurity that most mothers feel in that certain situation. I think that the best thing to do is to try to be nice to his mom even if she makes you feel that way. Try to understand how she's feeling too. Maybe she just feel like she's losing her baby but you have to let her know and feel that it doesn't have to be that way. That you're not there to take her place. One thing that you should remember is to never make her feel like you know her son better than her. One way to be close to her and make her feel that you are not taking her place is to ask for tips about his son. Like maybe ask her to help you plan a surprise for your husband and make it a point that you really want her to help you because she knows her son better. I am lucky that from the start, I have a really good relationship with my in-laws especially my mother-in-law.
@subha12 (18462)
• India
13 Jun 08
it is problem many woman face. i think it comes from the fact that this sufferrred the same way. she now wants to disturb the DIL very much. its really something sick
• United States
12 Jun 08
That's a difficult situation, I've been in the same thing, but reversed. My boyfriend doesn't like my mom. He thinks she steps into his territory when she buys things for me or helps me out with bills, anything dealing with money. I don't really know what to tell you, other than that you should talk to him about it, but be careful how you word things. When my bf and I argued about my mom, it made me feel like he was making me choose between him or my mom. He wouldn't have anything to do with her, wouldn't go to her house with me and if he would he would complain later about being there for so long. And it wasn't even there long, we stay at his parents for hours and hours and hours, but then can only be at mine for not even an hour. It's not fair and I don't like it. I don't like being able to spend time with him and his parents and then I have to go to mine alone. I enjoy being with him AND my mom. Because when I go alone, I worry about how long I'm there and how long I should stay before he'd be mad that I was gone so long. It's definitely stressful situation, I think you just need to be nice about it and use some tact when talking to him about her.
@fredgame (1264)
• China
12 Jun 08
well, it's a little too difficult for such things but they happen in life. it's that you just try to keep your calm and avoid confrontation if you'd like to continue your relationship.well, if your boyfriend is understanding about that issue not problem, it's that any time you meet her just avoid anything that may get her issuing you some nasty comments or awkward questions.