What is happiness in our life.?

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Hi friends how are you. I want to live with happy in my life. I went through a preety rough couple of days this week,what within the the dark pit of depression sneaking up on me.And it caused me to wonder,what is this 'happy' that people claim to possess? I can identify my depression once its hits the obsessive wrist slitting thoughts but thats a damn scray place to be. How can i better identify the state of my brain and take care of myself before things get to a bad point. I think one of my bigger problem is that I don't have any normalcy metric by which to judge. Iam so seldom what I think others would call happy that i don'treally recognize its absence. But may be only a gifted few are happy, and the rest of us just trudge through life bearing it all as best as possible? This is not well focused question mainly because iam not entirely sure what it is I need, other than some understanding as to how your brain 'feel' both in ordinary boring day-to-day life, and when you are particularly happy?