How to manage my IQ daughter and EQ son

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My daughter 7 years old, her IQ level is 4 steps above higher than her grade.But she is quite selfish and rude. My son is 5 years old , EQ is very good, like to share, polite,and listen what other people say.But he is not interested in learning. I and my husband run our own business in oversea.Firstly my mother looked after them but she got difficult to teach my daughter's manner and end up give up that she doesn't care for my children.So we decided to stay with them and take turn to do our biz. Even i have a lot of things to do for my biz, i come and stay with them for 10 days, go and do my things for 20 days.Meantime my husband looking after with my mother and maid.But we don't want to give up that my daughter can't use at all her character.I try to teach her some manners. Sometimes i can't control my tamper and scold her.But I know that they love me very much and they need me as full time mum. what should i do for her?