Do you lie to avoid hurting someone?

@neilchua (888)
Philippines
June 25, 2008 6:08am CST
We all lie, and we lie almost to everyone.not necessarily to all but almost. even if it is just a tiny detail sometimes we can't avoid to lie. we lie to someone we don't like, that is acceptable. lol. but why is it that we lie to our friends, to our parents, to our loved ones. is it because we don't want to make them feel bad. or are just too afraid to tell the truth that if we tell the truth our relationship to whoever it is that we are lying will change. Life is funny. I bet most of you have watched movie where people fight because they don't tell the truth, and they always say that if they had told the truth things will not change. Is it really like that. can telling a lie and being found out that you told a lie and telling the truth would really mean a difference? or is it just fate that you told a lie and the person you lied to found out that you lie and he or she will claim that if you have just told the truth things will be okay. Well we will never know i guess. life is full of WHAT IFS that mekes it harder for all of us. lol. so would you or would you not tell a lie?
7 people like this
47 responses
@pinks17 (2192)
• Philippines
7 Sep 08
We tell lies when we are afraid..afraid of what we don't know,afraid of what others will think,afraid of what will be found out about us.But everytime we tell a lie,that thing that we fear grows stronger.So I tried so hard to conquer my fears and be as honest as I can be ....to YOU.So I hope we are at the same page here baby.mwahugs
1 person likes this
@neilchua (888)
• Philippines
13 Sep 08
we are baby. mwah. love you so much.:)
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
hi neil! yes. we lie for a lot of reasons. i think everybody lies. white lies, serious lies. i lie, you lie, we all lie. to save our selves, to avoid hurting others, to save someone. i think lying has been part of our lives since time immemorial. i think it is the most abused sin in the ten commandments. i don't agree with it but i think it cannot be avoided. some people would always want the truth but some people won't. the truth can set someone free but a lie can save a lot. in my case, i have made a lot of white lies. just to save myself, avoid hurting others, avoid misunderstandings, and sometimes, just to escape a conversation. i have lied to save someone's azz. i have lied to protect myself from further shame. there are times that its just necessary to lie. the truth can come later.
1 person likes this
@neilchua (888)
• Philippines
18 Aug 08
you are right. but i hope it doesn't happen everytime to all of us. because lying really makes it worst if the person you lied to find out that you're lying. even white lies could hurt. have a good day:)
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
26 Jun 08
I find that I do not want to tell someone the whole truth about themselves. I feel that it would hurt them more, so I tell them a half-truth. There is always the assumption that others may hear me telling a person that she should not be so loud, and think she is a brazen hussy, when the reason she is too loud is because she cannot hear that well. Also like in the movies, people say tell the truth, and yet if they did so, things would have been just as bad or even worse than if they had told a half truth. So sometimes telling the truth does not work. Or rather it does not work in most cases. So what do you do? I was lucky to find people to tell what I did without condemning me, but before that those whom I told, condemned me and did not invite me to social gatherings, etc.
@phoenix25 (1543)
• United States
26 Jun 08
I don't like to lie, but I also don't like to hurt people. When I am faced with doing one or the other of those things, I would rather lie than hurt someone. It's sort of an ethical grey zone, isn't it? In a situation like that, nothing is black and white. If the person found out that I lied and tried to say that everything would be okay if I had just told the truth, I would tell them that they are full of poop. That's not true. Most of the time, people want to hear what they WANT to hear, not what they need to hear.
@jazgottt (1181)
• Poland
26 Jun 08
hi neilchua. I don't lie. I decided that telling lies is not for me when I was teenager and I simply don't lie. I think the best way to make your friends and family happy is to say truth. It's better to say nothing than to lie. I can't stand people who lie so it was hard for me to fall in love;). I know that nobody is perfect, I am not perfect too of course. But beeing honest is one of the most important things in my life. I hate when someone lies to me, and the best way to hurt me is to lie me. We should think before we do anything what can hurt someone we love or someone we like. I don't do things which could hurt my friend or my boyfriend. It is the easiest way to not hurt anybody. I am a strong minded person and it is not difficult for me to be honest and to control myself. Have a nice day, jazgottt.
@neilchua (888)
• Philippines
27 Jun 08
is this your cat? nice spot. me and my girlfriend have 2 persian cats. and she loves them very much. maybe more than me. lol
1 person likes this
@jazgottt (1181)
• Poland
27 Jun 08
It is my cat Kazia. she lives with my parents in my home city. She is lovely and a little bit crazy:). Cheerio, jazgottt.
@magojordan (3254)
• Philippines
30 Jun 08
Given the fact that the things that we are afraid of are the things that we really don't know, all of us tend to lie. We are afraid because we don't know the consequences of telling the truth to a person. Sometimes we thought that it's really better to lie to someone and maintain the good relationship with them because the truth might just hurt them. Well I'm telling you this, the truth hurts real. However have you ever thought of that they would be hurt even more if they found out that you lied to them? I think it would be really better if we told the truth to the people we love not because it would hurt them but rather it would make them a better person.
@cortney09 (1346)
• United States
29 Jun 08
I would like to say that I never lie, but the bottom line is that everyone lies. The one thing is though, I don't lie about major things. i have told white lies though, as I think everyone has.
@neilchua (888)
• Philippines
18 Aug 08
yup. what a relief.lol. at least, everyone does lie for a good reason sometimes. have a good day cortney09:)
• United States
29 Jun 08
Speaking from personal experience, I think it is better to tell the truth even if it may hurt someone else. I was in a relationship that I was lied to about EVERYTHING. "I'm going to buy a drink at the gas station." LIE. "I have to go to change the oil in the car." LIE. If this person told me it was raining, I would have to look outside to see for myself. I was told that he lied to me because he didn't want to hurt me. But, in the end, I always ended up finding out the truth. When he did start telling me the truth, I would be upset about the situation, but it wasn't anywhere close to as upset I was when he lied. When you lie and someone finds out, it makes it hard for them to believe anything you say. When someone lies to you and the truth comes out, then you have bad feelings from the lie itself and from what the lie was about. It doesn't mean that if you tell the truth someone will smile at you and say "OH. That's fine since you DID tell me the truth." We all face concequences of our actions..when we lie, we add to the consequences. (Not to say that I have never told a little lie here and there. :) )
@neilchua (888)
• Philippines
30 Jun 08
lying is good if they don't find out sooner. lol. though we know it's not possible. some manage to hide it for a long time though.
@_Honey_ (781)
• Philippines
29 Jun 08
I myself as much as possible try not to lie. Whenever I don't feel like doing asked me to be done, I try my best to say no in a polite way or answer in a way to imply that I disagree. In relationships, it's really tough. You try not to say things that may cause conflict in your relationship. The main intention is to avoid a fight or misunderstanding with the people we love. We for sure know it's our fault that why we lied. I try not to lie though and as much as possible I tried to avoid committing things that will push me to lie so as not to damage my relationships with my loved ones.
@neilchua (888)
• Philippines
30 Jun 08
nice cat.:)
@salonga (28016)
• Philippines
26 Jun 08
We live in a world where lying is part of of life and yes we do lie and nobody has not said a lie in his entire life because as some people would say we cannot avoid it. Some say it is alright to say little white lies once in a while like if we did it to avoid hurting someone or for some other justifiable reasons. But still the word of God is very clear, God hates lying and in reverence to God we should perhaps start changing our ways. I wish to quote here the word of God relative to this topic which is self-explanatory: Prov 6:16-19 16 There are six things which the LORD hates, Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him: 17 Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, And hands that shed innocent blood, 18 A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that run rapidly to evil, 19 A false witness who utters lies, And one who spreads strife among brothers. I hope you found this helpful. God bless!
@neilchua (888)
• Philippines
26 Jun 08
Thanks for the wisdom. Trully appreciate it.
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
25 Jun 08
I learned as a young child to never, ever lie and I've tried to stay that way. My mother taught me that if a friend asked, "How do you like my new dress?" and you didn't like it at all to say, "That's some dress!" You have not lied and said you liked it when you didn't. But you have not said what you really thought either - that it's the ugliest dress you've ever seen. That's how I've tried to live my life. If someone asks a question that I cannot answer truthfully without hurting his/her feelings, rather than answer directly at first, I might inquire, "Why do you ask?" Lying is not something everyone does or has to do.
@neilchua (888)
• Philippines
26 Jun 08
you do have a point kenzie. i think i'll apply that.
• Philippines
25 Jun 08
yeah, i do it sometimes just to protect the people i love.. that's what they call as white lies.. you tell lies to protect a person, or to cover up unintended acts.. based on my experience, i lied to one person before to avoid hurting him.. hurting him means hurting my self twice.. i dont want to hurt him, so i decided to tell a lie to him.. but im thankful that because i did it, everything came out to be successful and joyous..
@neilchua (888)
• Philippines
25 Jun 08
it turned out okay because never found out that you lied to him. but once he finds out. hopefully you can still get out of it. good luck then.
@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
25 Jun 08
i remember when i was young, i don't know how to tell a lie. i may say that i am one of the honest guys i ever knew. but there were some circumstances that when i was telling the truth, the relationship broke-up, all of a sudden. that is one thing that i learned how to tell a lie. but what makes more painful than telling a lie is to tell the truth the you lied. i remember a song that goes, I said I love you, but I lied.
@neilchua (888)
• Philippines
25 Jun 08
lol nice song you remember.
@bellaofchaos (11550)
• United States
27 Jun 08
honestly my policy is not to lie no matter how much you want to. I believe that it only causes more problems in the end. I also believe there are times when if asked something and I don't know how to comment I just say it doesn't matter what I think it's all about how you feel and what you think. I honestly try not to lie to anyone. It doesn't mean I won't skirt around the issue though. LOL!!!
@ryshawneo (405)
• Philippines
26 Jun 08
i do lie just not to hurt someone's feelings :)
• United States
26 Jun 08
I agree. I think we have all told white lies to save someones feelings. I try very hard to tell the truth. I am almost too honest for my own good. I have a really hard time telling a lie. My mother used an old wives tale on my brother and I. " You will get a pimple on my tongue if you tell a lie!" I am 52 years old. To this day I still believe this. If I get a little canker or pimple on my tongue, I mentally think about who I told a fib to. When I do have the occasion that it is necessary to stretch the truth, I immediately think. " Oh darnit I am going to get a pimple on my tongue. Honesty is always the best policy. If you always tell the truth you will never have to remember what version of a story you told to whom.
@poohgal (6848)
• Singapore
26 Jun 08
That's true. The biggest lie is to say you never lie before. I think it's fine to lie to avoid hurting someone. However, it really depends on the nature of the lie. To lie to a person saying you like him/her, when in actual you do not is a bad lie. You might make the person feel happy now but eventually if he/she finds out, the hurt will be greater. To lie to a person about their health condition may be a good thing. Some people become very depressed upon hearing their condition. A lot of times, it's the depression that kills people, not the illness. In this case, it might be better to tell a person the optimistic view rather than the pessimistic.
@chas1808 (20)
• United States
26 Jun 08
i try not to lie bout anything exspeically not to ones i love or my friends. im not sayin havent lie b4 just that is ever rare that i do and there are people i have never lied 2 n prob never will. the only time i have lied to anyone was to avoid an arguement about something that was stupid. in the end tho i tell the person i lied to the truth or atleast 9 times out of 10 that is the case. i try not to lie because i dont like people tht do, and i cant usually tell when someone is liein but not always.
• India
26 Jun 08
As you feel we all try to avoid hurting someone by telling a lie,its our minimum curtousy and human tendency.But It should not become an habbit for us and the person we try to help out.
@gemini_rose (16193)
26 Jun 08
I used to get into so much trouble through lying that in the end I just swore to myself that I would never lie again. I do manage to stick to it too, I cannot stand the secrets and trouble that can come from one little lie. One little lie just builds up into hundreds of juicy big fat ones.