Suggestions on raising sons with an 'absent' father?

When my late husband passed away, my boys were 8 and almost 4. I signed them up for the Big Brothers program in our town. That way they still had a male figure in their life and they loved spending time them. You might check it out and see if they have a program similar to this one in your town. Sure did help my boys out.

I am also a mother of a 5 year old son without a father, what I would tell you is to use you best judgemen. Alot of peole will tell you that you need the father in there life but you cant make peoles mind up for them. If he chooses to be like that then thats what he wants. Try to join into activitys with them, talk to them. A mother can be a father at the same time. Stay strong and God will lead the way. Just to let you knoe, I have twins that are 5 and their father got himself life in prison.

I don't think you need to fill any void, just be the best mother you can be to them, be ther for them, they will grow up and realize who was there for them and what you did for them. don't stress it, alot of children are raised with one parent and grow up to be just fine.

I grew up without my father around much at all. So just for first-hand information, the void really can't be filled. Not trying to sound negative or pessimistic. But it's the truth. You can get them involved in things, get remarried, have other role models and what not but nothing can feel the void of not having one of their parents with them. My mother didn't even know that, you don't really know until you are in the situation yourself. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother very very much. And I think that she is the best, she has been through so much and was able to raise me and my brother right and give us whatever we needed and most of the time wanted and she wasn't even rich. But she really had no idea on how it can affect a child, as said before, you don't really know unless it is you. Oh and also, I have an older brother(six years older than me), so when I was younger it was nice to have that male figure in my life. There's nothing like having an older brother, one of the best relationships a person can have. However, none of this has filled that void in my life. Hope that all makes sense to you. :)

I can't really tell you how to fill the void, but I can say this...don't let men just come in and out of their lives. It is so hard on them and it will affect them in ways that maybe we can't even begin to imagine. Keep their lives consistent and always be there for them. Don't worry about finding them a "dad." They need you most. I'm sure you know these things, but...thought I'd say them anyway. I'm sure you are an excellent mother.

I grew up without my father but I had no problems...

I'm also a mother of two boys....i'd just suggest that you have a male role model around for them ,someone like their grandfather ,an uncle .....someone who they can look up to and relate to when it comes to male issues ,cause when it reaches that time they might not be comfortable to talk with you.I thank my dad for being around for my boys.

Sometimes it's better to just have a mother instead of having a father who is abusive. Be there for them, give them the attention they need instead of devoting yourself to some other man, and I know they'll turn out okay. You might look into the Big Brother program in your area that matches boys with adult male mentors.

hello there! I am also a single mom, with no father in my 4 yr olds life. It has been hard seeing how he has never been around from day one.Its a bad messed up situation,and i feel aweful when he asks about him, how do u tell a child that he isnt wanted? You Dont..soo i tell him that its just the way yjongs are for some kids,and that there isnt anything wrong with noit having a daddy..but i can be his mommy/daddy lol.and he laughs like im nutts..but i told him that i will do my best to be his mommy and daddy..and someday i will get him a big brother..i have to wait till hes 5 i believe i was told.And i heard wonderful things and programs and outings they have, and i will make sure all about his credentals..did i spell that right? lol..doesnt look right..anywho..but for now..try to bring yourself to do things a man would do for his child..like playing catch, tossing a football,fishing..if u can bare to touch tose nasty slimy worms and fish!!! hahaha!!ewwwwieee!! but i will do it for Sky.Take them to a game..anything..football,basebsll..just guy stuff..heck ask soem guy friends what they do..cause thats all i gots for now lol..untill age 5 ish maybe 6 ithink they still have some toddler in them..and as they get older as around..i hope i was some help..good luck and take care!!

Keep trying to encourage their father to come and spend time with the boys because they need their father,and don't stop communicating with him,and tell him if he doesn't want to come to your house then you two can arrange a safe comfortable place at a relatives or a friends for him to see and spend time with the boys.I don't know your situation but his place to have you take the boys there is at your choice,and another thing if you have a brother,a friend or uncle who can be in the boys lives until their dad comes around will be great because boys need good strong men in theirlives,but woman can raise their boys to be strong respectable good honest men,too.

I think as long as your loveing and caring and raise them the best way you know how..you'll do just fine.I have 3 sons ..I find they run to me so much more then there dad (11,14,17 so not so young running to there "mommy") so just do the best..they will love you for that period.

Maybe just bring a male role model into their lives, Either it be your brother, your father, or a best friend of yours who is a male, whatever! My sons father left when he found out i was pregnant and has never met my son, I was single for 18 months and when my son was a year old i met my current partner we are now engaged to be married! I hope it all works out for you!

If they are old enough get them involved in a local sports league, coaches can help serve as male role models. Could be a little tough at first though because many of the kids will have their dads there depending on their age.

I agree that role models are important. I have seen several adults who were raised without fathers who even in adulthood, still seek role models.