Is this really love?

@kharen (1488)
Philippines
July 11, 2008 9:23am CST
I have this relationship. I know in myself that i don't love this person at first and i think that i'm just with Nen for 4 months going 5 out of pity. But Nen does this things that make me feel so special. He went to the hospital and accompanied me all night even if he has to commute home and then to work the next day. he even managed to let me eat my food before he leaves and didn't want to leave me watching tv in my room in the hospital. he assured i go to sleep before leaving. He's really so sweet that if i remember the times and efforts he gave and still gives me, I feel a bit strange. I feel that i already love him. I feel that i want to tell him again and again that i love him but i make sure i don't believe any plans and every word that he gives because i have this fear of being so hurt like my last relationship. I don't know if i really love him. There was this time in the hospital that we can't control the heat that we did something in the hospital bed and then the nurse came. I didn't feel embarrassed instead i felt like laughing and i gave a really wide smile. I can't understand why i'm acting like this. What is this feeling that i'm feeling right now? I even feel like i want to cry when i remember all what he's done for me. I'm afraid of this feeling. I dont' want to admit that this is love or is this really love?
6 people like this
25 responses
@n30wing (4771)
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
I think your falling in love with your bf already. Sometimes falling in love takes you months to know. You just feel it gradual. Why should you be scared? scared of being hurt. It's part of being in love! There is always exemption to the rule. Not all five fingers are the same. Don't generalized all men! Good luck and God bless!
• United States
11 Jul 08
It really seems to me that you got a really nice guy on your hands... I would take advantage of it even thought he might not be your type i still would try it out see what its like being with this person he might be the one you wouldn't wanna let that go would you??? I wish my husband was that sweet lol... So take a chance with it... He sounds like one of a kind type men, to sit with you in a boring hospital waiting for you to fall asleep that to me is sweet and one of a kind.. No man would sit in a boring hospital with a girl for nothing you know?? So i think you should take a chance it sounds to me like love... Like he loves you enough to do that for you...
2 people like this
@checapricorn (16072)
• United States
11 Jul 08
Why afraid kharen, life is too short to hold and hide what you feel for him...You both deserve to be happy and know what you feel for each other. He is a great guy and willing to sacrifice for you and that is a great indication that he will never hurt you...I know you love him too and you have to tell him that. I know that we don't have any control of our life and our future...But, it's not also fair to hide and control it because of the fear...forget your past experienced and make it as a great tip to have a better and more stronger relationship with this guy!
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
thanks for the advice. If i have more best responses i'd mark you one..^^
• United States
11 Jul 08
No problems..LOL! happy posting!
1 person likes this
@Jamian (2606)
• Philippines
12 Jul 08
just feel it and i know you are the only one who can say if that is a true love.
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
yup..your right.. but factors affect how i'm being unsure of this feelings i'm having..
@cdeanda2 (84)
• United States
12 Jul 08
Hi Kharen, A guy like that seems like a REALLY good man. There isn't many like that who will put your feelings and wellness before their own. Unfortunately for me I thought I found this all in my current relationship. He did everything in the beginning that was just so sweet. Now four years down the road he wont pay an ounce of attention to me. I hope you have one that will commit to you forever if you choose to love him.
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
thanks for the complement on him.. well, you have a point of course people change..
• United States
11 Jul 08
girl!! its love, enjoy it ... life is all about up's and down's and theres always going to be someone who hurts you , or you hurt them. You need to stop thinking about the future and enjoy every last minute of it. I know your afraid of being hurt cause you know what it feels like, but im telling you now this guy seems like a keeper let yourself go a bit , but still watch your back good luck! : )
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
aha..i still have to watch for it.. sometimes this things can change and then time comes that i'll be neglected again.. maybe i'll just let htings happen.. i dunno i'm still confused bout letting myself go fall for this stuff and efforts..
@ibcandy2 (40)
• United States
11 Jul 08
Ok. I am a little confused. In the beginning you were saying that you know that you dont love this guy and you were dating him out of pity and then at the end you are saying you think you might be in love? That is 2 total different ends of the spectrum. It seems that you have a good guy on your hands but some women dont like that for whatever odd reason. I think that you dont have to think that you are in love. I think that love just happens and when it does, you know it. There shouldnt be any questions. My main question is why does it seem like you are in a rush to fall in love? What is that going to change in your life? When you say you love someone, those are serious words that shouldnt be taken lightly because if you say it and arent sure that you mean it, you are leading the other person on and playing with their emotions. What will happen if you just keep seeing this person and see if it turns into love? People have friends who do nice things like your guy does just the same but that is all that it is, a friendship. All you spoke about is the nice things he has done for you and that is great but you need to ask yourself a few questions. 1. Do you miss him every time that he leaves? 2. Do you think about him all of the time? 3. Are you completely over the last guy you were with or do you still think about him? Honestly, I think you know you arent in love but he is a good guy and you are trying to make yourself love him. It doesnt work that way. I say that you just leave the relationship where it is and dont be afraid not to be dating someone or in love with someone. I am sure you will experience many more relationships and dont put pressure to put a label on it. Let time tell you what the status is of the relationship. It is never good to play with someones emotions so make sure that you are sure with what you feel before you tell someone else what you think that they want to hear.
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
you just went around ur words. I said i don't love this guy but of course things may change.. i said i think i'm inlove becuase i'm unsure of it not because i don't know how this is to be a feeling..
• China
12 Jul 08
Love is need time and energy, obviously, your have overcomed by his warmming heart.Stop thinking those useless things anymore,just treasure him and enyoy your love.Catch your happiness.
1 person likes this
11 Jul 08
Hi there kharen, I think that you both love each other. Sometimes it can take a while for you to realise and understand your true feelings for a person. Personally I think you should talk about this, I think you should sit down and talk to each other about love and how you feel about one another. But do not be afraid about admitting that you love someone, its a great feeling, from the information you have stated, he cares for you a lot, it seems as if he loves you, and i also think you love him. Have a talk with him see if he feels the same as you :). Hope this helps.
@lyzabelle (1669)
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
Love grows in time. I think you're already falling in love with him. There's nothing to be afraid. Let your feeling shpw. You will missed the happiness that only the love can give if you are afraid to get hurt again. Love hurts but not all the time.
@sirfsuraz (468)
• Nepal
11 Jul 08
hmm he is such a nice guy. You'll never get the person like him again. May be... Hey he is so caring, he loves you a lot thats why he is doing this. Other wise no other human will do this for you, even a social servicer won't do it. Love the one who loves you. And you loved him. Yeah you really admire him for helping him in difficulties. In fact this is the meaning of real part of sharing in life. You are getting attracted towards him. Learn him and study him from closer, get close to him, understand him well then you'll surely find your soul mate in him.
• Philippines
12 Jul 08
hhmmm.... it really hard to know what you were feeling.. actually, before i knew that i love my boyfriend, when he was gone.. he goes abroad and left me here... before that, i dont love him.. but as days goes by, how i missed him, i feel that i love him.. may be.... as of this moment, you dont know what your feeling.. but someday you'll realize what it is... or.. love him now or else, you will loose a person who really loves you.. based on your story, i think he loves you so much... time will tell....
@muxicka (216)
• Philippines
12 Jul 08
tlga lng ha? XD
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
12 Jul 08
Sure, it can be love! How mature is the love, that may be the only question! Give it time and develop your friendship first. It works out better than way!
• New Zealand
12 Jul 08
The thing is you need to stop and think if you love this guy for the things he does for you or if you love him for who he is? Because there is a huge difference between the two of them and if you realize that you just love the things he does for you, then this is not love and i do not believe that you love him, you just love the things he does for you, not him. On the other hand if you love the way he is inside, his personality, the way he laughs and joke with you, the way he thinks,the point of view that he has in life;if you love all of this in him...Then congratulations my friend you found the one, that is the guy, don't let him go and enjoy every minute of your life with him, because life is short and there is nothing better than to love and be loved. Go for it!!!
@diansinta (7554)
• Indonesia
12 Jul 08
Hi there Kharen, I think Nen is a good person. I have never know him, but when your story about him its true, Then, is the man of all woman needed. Be reasonable, It is not fair that you blaim him of the last relationship. He is not the same person that brake your heart. It is not his fault. But to build a relationship, both of you have to be equal in love. You can't be with a man that you don't love. So let see him at a distance for a while before you decided to be with him. When he is nice, you can decided to love this guy, but when you think that he is not for you, Best friend always a beautiful ending than enemy. Good luck!!! OoXx`dian
@muxicka (216)
• Philippines
12 Jul 08
There's no harm done if you would try telling him that you love him right? GO ON GIRL! YELL OUT AT THE WHOLE WORLD!!
• India
12 Jul 08
the person nen really loves you he really cares for you . actually u r scared that this person will ditch u like your x that's why u r not able to tell him that you love him if i would have been in your place and if i were a girl i would just go to meet him and tell him everything that how much i loved him.so i am just telling u that dont let him go cause it feels a lot when somone leaves u i haev experienced it . cmon he loves u and according to me evn u love him .just gio for him..........tell me please if anything more happens
@ganda8831 (816)
• Philippines
12 Jul 08
For me it's way better if you're not too inlove with the person you're with. Because if you are, you'll get hurt pretty badly if the relationship doesn't work. But who knows, he might be the one for you. The one you'll spend the rest of your life with.
@alea35 (9)
• United States
12 Jul 08
I think if you have to ask yourself if you love the person, then you don't. In my experience, when you're in love, you know you're in love. The funny thing with love is that it can happen when you least expect it. 5 months isn't a terribly long time. Wait a while and see how you feel.
• Malaysia
12 Jul 08
the guy is so nice, for my own opinion, when love comes, dont afraid, juz follow the flow.