How does it feel when you are compared to an ex???

Philippines
July 13, 2008 10:35pm CST
A guy friend received a slapped from his girl. That marks also the end of their reslationship. When I asked him why, shyly he said that accidentally his girl heard him talking wtih his group of friends about each one's girlfriend. Unintentionally he compared his ex with his current gf. She heard it clearly how he comapred her to an ex particularly their performance in bed. Felt insulted, she gave him a slapped and break him up right in front of his friends! I burst into laughter, and preferred not to comment. I can't blame the girl. Anyway, how does it really feel being compared to an ex?
2 people like this
36 responses
@rbailey83 (1400)
• Canada
14 Jul 08
i guess it all depends, if it is positive doesn't really matter, but if it is negative can make you feel pretty crappy. i think what i hate most though is when my girlfriend constantly tells old story's of her and her most recent ex
1 person likes this
@myliezl0903 (2731)
• Philippines
15 Jul 08
woah! that was really foul! the guy shouldn't compare his current gf to his ex.,hmmm, if i was in her situation i will also do the same way.,and i will confront him and most probably will insult him also in public or in front of his friends! the hell with him! gEE!! i so hate that guy!
• Philippines
15 Jul 08
yup me too! That's what i hate about men also! They could not keep private things in their own!!
• United States
14 Jul 08
lol..that is crazy and that is what that guy gets for talking too much. There are some aspects of your relationship that you need to keep between you and your partner. I would be insulted as well, especially being compared sexually of all things. I understand that one may be compared in specific areas but keep it to yourself. It would be an issue for me if my boyfriend did so in front of his friends.
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
that's what I hate about men...they could not keep it for themselves!!
@mich_23 (121)
• Philippines
20 Jul 08
It's not at all acceptable to for me to be compared to an ex. Call it ego or whatever but to be compared is like that person not accepting you for who you are in the long run whats even worst is if they tend to kiss and tell which is totally outrageous.
@applefreak (3131)
• Singapore
16 Jul 08
oh my goodness that's the worst thing a guy can do to a girl. comparing her to an ex is already horrible. comparing how they perform in bed is totally overboard! however, what i wouldn't do is slap him. it's really beyond me to physically hit someone. what i'll do is walk up to him, in front of his friends, and ask him to repeat what he has said. if he has the guts to do it, i'd break off with him right that moment but amicably. but if he start to deny what he just said, i'd give him the worst dressing down in his life and still break off with him.
@lchiat (1070)
• Malaysia
16 Jul 08
i will be very very sad if my girlfriend compare me with her ex... She compared me to him few times unconciously... It is very very hurt and will start a small quarrel with her..
@Tiherina (83)
• United States
16 Jul 08
My boyfriend compares me to his ex all the time. I really don't care, she was crazy anyway. None of it is negative in any way. I guess it's because I'm weird and don't really care about all that stuff. I dunno. To each his own.
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
15 Jul 08
That is very sad and insulting! I will be doing the same if I am the girl! this guy needs to grow up..LOL! Everyone is unique from each other and he has no right to compare that girl to the ex! He is indeed immature and insensitive! If he wants something to be improved, the best thing is talk to the GF and be open how he wants it not just bringing the topic to the circle of friends!
• Indonesia
15 Jul 08
he sweetbarbie, well, the guy deserves both the slap and the end of their relationship. i think nobody likes being compared. we want to be the best for our partner, i mean, we want to be the special one. it is not proper to compare our partner with our ex(s).
@joyines (239)
• Singapore
15 Jul 08
well by nature my bf is a very silent person..he wont talk much unless u will ask him but once he will answer he will just say whatever he thinks. actually i feel that it was me who wanted him to compare me to his ex.and lucky enough i find all his answer very flattering. i may not hear always how happy he is now with me compare before but he always makes me feel the difference.i love the way he loves me
@ieeko89 (1054)
• Malaysia
15 Jul 08
Oh my god! I pity that girl! Her ex-bf shouldn't say that behind her back! And talk bad about her in front of people. Hm, if i were her, I probably would do the same thing! And maybe i would punch his face xP Hahaha. He deserve that by the way. Okay, back to your question. If i were compared to an ex of my current bf, of course i would feel sad and miserable at 1st. But if he kept comparing me until i had enough, I'll feel mad and ask him to get back with his GOOD ex like he always mentioned how good she was. Hmp! But thankfully, my current bf is really nice and doesn't compare me with anyone:)
@jvyyuie (83)
• China
15 Jul 08
you are being paranoid. he and his ex will always talk they have kids together. as long as he is respectful of you when you come into the conversation there is nothing to get bent about.
• Philippines
15 Jul 08
I haven't experienced that thing. But what do I know, my boyfriend could have done it without me knowing . But just imagining it would be the biggest insult I'd ever get, it is painful, so I agree that we cannot blame the girl. For me, you know it's fine if my boyfriend would tell stories about her ex, I am open to that idea anyway- I sometimes used that strategy to check what are the aspects in me I need to improve on . If I can't stand him talking about his ex, I'd ask him to stop, but when it comes to him, comparing the 2 of us, i don't think that's fine- it is a different story. Whatever it is, whatever the approach is, Comparing, especially in person, has it's negative impact- because one will come out as dominating and the other one is the inferior. I understand that no one is perfect, everyone has their opportunity to improve, but your guy friend, could have made it better by talking with his girlfriend face to face rather than telling it to people which are not directly involve in their relationship. They say, it "takes 2 to tango"- he could have been open to his girlfriend about her flawses, rather than pointing out what's wrong with her and pointing out the good one of her ex. Talking about a person in terms on how they perform in bed is a big foul. The guy should have known better than that. Unless he mean something else.
• Philippines
15 Jul 08
My husband and I are firsts of each other so we both don't have an ex to compare each other with. But it sure would not feel good to be compared. Whether positive or negative, it would be better if you take each other for what you are.
@bdugas (3581)
• United States
14 Jul 08
Fortunatly I have heard my husband compare me with his ex many times and it was always good things he said. I did make a comment one time when we was arguing that the two of them deserved each other. Then it made me feel bad cause she was a real prize, haha. I think the girl was right if he is telling bedroom secrets in front of a bunch of guys. If I heard him comparing me and it was insulting to me, he wouldn't only get a slap but probably a divorce too, let him have the one he thought was so great.
• United States
14 Jul 08
Thankfully I've never been compared to an ex. I would probably be insulted to be put in that position...there's a reason she's an ex, and not a current girlfriend/wife. He needs to remember that and not insult his girl by comparing her to someone who is no longer in the picture!
• United States
14 Jul 08
I think thats one of the worst things a person can do, whether it be intentionally or accidently. ive had girlfriends who would compare some of my feature to their ex's and it would piss me off. I dont care about your past.
@us2owls (1681)
• United States
14 Jul 08
I just got married for the second time two weeks ago - second time for both of us. If my husband ever compares me to his first wife I will go ballistic. She feigned illness all the time to keep from working - having kids or anything else she could thinkof. From what I have been told by the people who knew her well one of whom was her cousin the woman was a total waste of space. If I had been the girl I doubt that I would have slapped him - I would probably have taken a ball bat and beat him senseless.
• Lubbock, Texas
14 Jul 08
Being compared to an ex contributes greatly to low self esteem. Having your private life broadcast to your bf or husbands friends is pure violation. You might as well be raped. That is something that should be private between two people.
@Ramaditya (1227)
• Indonesia
14 Jul 08
Well, comparing us to our ex is something unwise to do, and it works for everything. Not only negative comparison, positive comparison will sometimes make us feel bad, because we do not feel like it, and we feel like our lover misjudge us by it. I don't like to be compared to anyone either, especially to my lover's ex boyfriend. I will straightly say "are you with me or him" if she says so, no matter what, as I don't want the relationship being shadowed by other people. But, yes I will be very wise by asking her the meaning of comparison she makes. If that's for my own good, well I will try to respect her anyway...