Lately I Find Myself Dreadfully Unhappy and Sad - Advice, Please???

United States
July 17, 2008 10:13am CST
I'll be the first to admit I have no gripes coming. My husband makes a good living, my daughter is doing well, I run a not-so-successful (depending on the week) at-home business. I have a roof over my head, plenty of food to eat, I'm not abused nor neglected, I have a loving family and a couple of good friends. Why am I bursting into tears for no reason lately? My past includes being a paycheck-to-paycheck single mom, having no one in my life, being afraid of financial ruin all the time, worrying over a stalking ex or two - all of which have ceased. Was I just too busy to be sad before? My daughter has grown so much in the last year or so...could it be I no longer feel needed? I am 46 years old and lately my monthly cycle is off...could it be I'm menopausal? I run about 4 times a week and do daily dumbbell workouts and situps, yet I'm pudgy and tired all the time. I take daily vitamins and calcium. I just feel so damn sad lately and I don't know why. I'm hoping someone out there has been in the same place and can give me some advice. My marriage is good, my daughter is fine, my family is okay and I am crying. What gives???
3 people like this
12 responses
• United States
17 Jul 08
Culd you be finally safe enough to dump out some of the stress/tears you held in all those other years? Sometimes when a person had it rough, but did not feel safe enough to express it, it gets clogged up and then bubbles all out like a fountain once the person IS safe enough for it to come out. IF this is not the case, ask your doctor. Could be chemical/medical? And they can help alot! But otherwise..maybe you just are just finding a good time to let the past go..and you need to get it all out and over with! Menopause culd indicate a hormonal change that an endocronologist could balance out for you..if that helps! But otherwise, you have been through alot. Let it OUT and let it be in the past. Your crying may be a good thing.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jul 08
I think you may be right. I just want to take this opportunity to thank every one who has responded - there's a lot of insight in these responses and it has helped me feel less alone and less stupid for whining about nothing. All the responses I've received have good, healthy and caring ideas and I appreciate it all.
• United States
18 Jul 08
Snivel, Your age and emotions do show signs that menopause may be starting. Talk to your doctor about this and he can do a simple blood test and tell you if you are or not. Us women tend to be more emotional than men, I think. Thank goodness you are in a comfortable position in life now. Just remember that it does get boring when all the drama goes out of your life. When I get restless, I walk and do some quality thinking while walking. Since I am a few years older than you may I warn you that it's easy to put on weight at our age? From your post it sounds like it may be time for a "get away" to refresh your life. Read up on the emotional changes that happen with menopause and you may find all the answers you need.
• United States
23 Jul 08
Great advice. Especially about life being boring without all the drama. I've wondered that myself sometimes - whether I became a bit of a crisis/trauma junkie - could I miss the rush that bad? Even when things were crappy? I am going to read up on menopause and I thank you, and everyone else, for the well-thought out responses. I feel a little less crazy :)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Snivel, I read your comment back to me and thought, "dang, I miss the drama too"! In a way, I seem to have mellowed out and there are still times that I just do something, reckless or off the wall... just to remind myself that age is just a number. Good luck and as we said back then... "Keep On Truckin'"
• United States
13 Oct 08
Thank you for the added comment. At least we now know there's at least TWO whacky women roaming the planet :)
• Malaysia
18 Jul 08
It seem that you are lonely my friend, don't felt terrible someday your daughter gonna leave you anyway. In mylot your loneliness will bit by bit will disappear. Talk my word as a promise.
@banadux (630)
• United States
18 Jul 08
You should definitely talk to your doctor. There is a medicine that will treat those symptoms I'm pretty sure. I can't remember the name, but I have read about it. I want to say it's something like Lithicor, but there are so many different medications out there it's hard to keep track of what does which thing.
@deemazing (395)
• United States
18 Jul 08
Well, it's possibile that your free time has led you to be able to cry again. I used to be very depressed and the way I got over depression was by creating more projects for myself. I never had time to think about being depressed, but...that backfires also. Sometimes I get so stressed out that's all I do is cry. I lose hope in everything for about a week, and then I go back to my normal life. I think part of it is definitely related to your hormones at this stage in life also. You may want to try non-religion meditation. Just general breathing/relaxation exercises. You will likely feel scared and anxious the first few times you try it, but that would be because your body isn't used to being calm. A good site for reference is www.learningmeditation.com You will probably start to realize that as you meditate more your mouth will start to open and a smile will be on your face during the meditation. That is when you know it is really working. If those methods do not work, you could try some of the dieting advice (not weightloss) at www.drmercola.com...it may be a nutrition thing.
@nengs10 (3188)
• Philippines
18 Jul 08
I bet you are just depressed or stressed with your daily activities and endeavors. It's normal for us. We really tend to feel that way often. One reason I perceived is that, maybe, your life becomes routinary by doing the same things and tasks every now and then. Try new stuff and explore new ideas. That could help.
@Ramaditya (1227)
• Indonesia
17 Jul 08
First of all, let me tell you that you have wonderful family and good time, plus you have already left those dreadful memories in the past. Perhaps it was the time you were so depressed and sad you even didn't have the idea to pull it out (through speaking or anything). Now, you have what so called nice life. Like what others said, your body and feelings understand that this is a perfect time to pull those unspoken problem, to release it via tears if I may say... You've got those nice people around you... Why don't you cry with them, ask them to hug and stroke your hair... This is a perfect opportunity to be new again, because through this releasing method you will be back as a fresh person again. When I was experiencing bad love story for example, it was so hard I could not talk to anyone. When I met my current girlfriend (which is a nice person) after that, and she brought quality time to my life, it was the time my tears flowed down and she held me gently, and I felt...happiness with me... Overall; Do not worry, please calm down and be with your nice family... I pray you good luck...
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
17 Jul 08
Hi snilvelbec, This is something unusual since you have a very happy life yet you are feeling down...Maybe due to menopausal, I know a lot of women experienced this attitude when they are on that stage and better to get a doctor's advice since they will be giving you appropriate vitamins for that,,,I have not experienced this with my Mom during her menopausal, She was the same, a happy and lively person..She exercise everyday and very busy also having a garden and a lot of flowers..Then, everyday during their break, they will be playing card with Dad or watch game show.. In your case, try to find some hobby where you can utilize your time and keep your mind busy..Maybe you have plenty of idle time and you're unconsciously sad about it!
@aorgaeni (125)
• Singapore
17 Jul 08
this is just an emotion.We all faced once in a while.Even we have everything is ok and fine, we feel like something we need.And don't know what we need for. But you know you feel depress, you can write down and yourself or share your feeling with someone. It can help you to release your tension. And what you can do is know your breathing, in and out from your nostrails. keep tracking ur breathing and you will be feel better.
@Munchkin547 (2779)
17 Jul 08
Hi, sorry to hear you're feeling so low! My situation is very different to yours, a don't have a husband or any children for example but i recently went through the same feeling of constant misery! I got through it by positive thinking and also seeking medical advice. I wansn't at all keen on going to see my doctor but my friend bullied me into doing it and i'm now glad that he did! It is difficult to go and tell a stranger about how low you are feeling, especially when you don't really know why, but you never know, it could be something that they can solve for you, for example the menopause and HRT might help. I'm not saying there's a quick fix or that your problem is as simple as all that but taking that first step can only be positive! Keep reminding yourself of the love you have around you. Even though your daughter may be growing up and becoming independent it doesn't mean she loves you any less! Keep smiling and reach out for help! Take care xvx
@skbh12 (2950)
• Philippines
17 Jul 08
well i think these things are affecting you due to your pre menopausal stage. it is normal but don't go deeper to that alright? keep yourself busy. divert the feelings and burden that you bring in you everyday of your life. everything will be alright. my advice would be cry everything all out for you to feel better. another thing, stop worrying too much alright? that adds burden more to you. keep smiling alright?
@youless (91132)
• Guangzhou, China
17 Jul 08
That's strange that you feel upset even though you are living in a happy family and you don't have to worry about the finance. I wonder whether you just feel bored. I think you need to get back your own interests and do whatever you like. You shall have more free time and try to find out your interests to fill up your spare time. Make a full schedule and soon you will feel happy again. I love China