Do men dislike sharing their wife's affection with the children?

Philippines
July 19, 2008 12:55am CST
I have heard my husband saying, jokingly, that he does not want to have kids because then he would have to share my attention with them. I thought it was just our very own private joke, until I heard another woman, a stranger, saying the very same thing. Is this just a joke, or is it for real that husbands resent having to share their wife's attention with their own children?
2 people like this
3 responses
@SwtJenlove (1090)
• United States
19 Jul 08
It all depends on the upbringing of the male and how they were raised. Most men say that as a joke so i wouldnt take it to heart. Have you sat down and asked him if he is really serious of if he is just joking about it.? Good luck! :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jul 08
When I try to ask him he just laughs it off. But you are saying most men say that as a joke, so maybe that's what it is. Thank you for coming by and take care.
1 person likes this
@schulzie (4068)
• United States
26 Jul 08
I don't really think it's a joke. I think all men want their wives attention. It is another way that men are like children. I think sometimes they get jealous not of the children but of the attention that is diverted away from them by the children. For a woman being maternal comes naturally, but for a man it does not. You have to remember that before any children come or came along all of your attention was on your husband. Once children show up then they have to share with the kids. As the mom and wife you have to try to share the time with everyone and keep everyone happy.
• Philippines
26 Jul 08
A wise and perceptive answer indeed. I still have a lot to learn about my husband, and that is one thing I should remember: he wants and even needs my attention. Its strange, though, that paternal instincts do not come naturally to men. But, if I think about it, a lot of other animals do not have it, either. After mating they just leave the female to give birth and take care of their young, right? Sorry, your statement led me to another train of thought. Anyway, thanks for your response and take care.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jul 08
I guess. We have no kids yet, but when my husband and I discuss having kids, he always jokes and says the baby will have half of me but the other half will be his and no trespassing either. We laugh about it, but I wonder if deep inside there is a grain of truth in what he says. Then one time he said, with a serious face, that maybe if we have a baby my attention would be all on the baby and I would no longer mind him. I guess at first it would be difficult for me to divide my attention fairly, especially since babies demand so much time and attention, right?
1 person likes this
• India
19 Jul 08
I think he probably meant it to be a joke. Husbands are equally caring as the wives towards their children. After all, the children belong to both of them and there is no reason why the wife should show only attention to their children and ignore her husband.
• Philippines
21 Jul 08
Well that's a relief. Thank you for your reassuring note and for dropping by. Take care.