Am i in one way or another cheating on my boyfriend?

July 22, 2008 9:01am CST
My boyfriend and i had been in a relationship for 7-8 months now, and i love him. But one problem is, i don't know if i have a future with him... his family isn't that stable and my parents are not approved of my guy yet. Due to that fact, at times i think that it wouldn't hurt me that much if we break up... but what i think is totally different to what i actually feel whenever we come closer to breaking up... coz i really love my bf. Anyways, what i really wanna share is that, we're on a long distance relationship with my guy (but he visits me sometimes, about once or twice in every 3 months), and he has this close friend who is studying here in my school and we often chat and hang out with his classmates. slowly, i think I'm beginning to like my bf's close friend.... i look for him whenever i don't see him around, and i feel like i want him to be attracted to me or to like me too. but what's weird is that, whenever me and my bf are not in good terms, i notice that my feelings for his close friend disappears, and every time we are back again with my bf, my feelings for his close friend also comes back. i really don't understand why i'm feeling this way... i don't wanna have feelings for my bf's close friend... with this, am i in one way or another, cheating on my bf? i honestly don't wanna cheat on my guy (he doesn't deserve being cheated on..) i don't know.... maybe what contributes to my feelings for his close friend is that, i feel that i may have a brighter future with him and my parents might like him better.... (sigh) i'm confused on myself.... pls give me your opinion on this...
1 person likes this
3 responses
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
22 Jul 08
Well if you are just attracted to his friend, that isn't cheating. I've been in your situation before. My boyfriend and i were good one minute and then bad the next. i went to break up with him a few times but i did care about him and we'd go from breaking up to staying together in one night. i think mostly we were both afraid to be alone and make a change. if you don't feel a future with your boyfriend then end it. if you end it that doesn't mean you have to go for his friend, but i wouldn't waste time trying to make something work if you don't have a future. you can love him and it not be the right relationship for you.
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22 Jul 08
thanks for that :-). honestly, at times i feel i should end it... but i can't. i guess my heart is just too strong compared to my head..my friends also have split opinions on this. some say that i should end it, but others say that i should just wait and see after he finishes his studies and finds a job, then he might be stable...
1 person likes this
@Amanda81587 (3046)
• United States
22 Jul 08
I don't believe that you being attracted to this person is cheating, I think you feel this way because your boyfriend is not around so the next closest thing to your boyfriend would be his best friend. Which would explain the reason why your feelings dissapear when you and your boyfriend are in an argument.
1 person likes this
22 Jul 08
when i think of it, it does make sense :-). it just bothers me 'coz some of my friends (those really conservative ones) say that i'm somewhat cheating... and it seems really wrong to flirt around with his close friend (i'm not even sure if i am flirting with him or not.... but for sure, i like being around with him)...
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jul 08
Well I think there may be some jealousy from your friends. Don't listen to them. Some people are totally wacky and think that looking at someone else is cheating. How silly.
23 Jul 08
thanks for your opinion, that made me feel better inside:-).
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• Indonesia
23 Jul 08
haii.. why u so confuse?? long distance relationtionship will hurt u. So if your bf's close friend have same feeling with you..just go on.. He can will be in your side always..not in long distance...
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23 Jul 08
i don't know if he feels the same way :-p hehe but i think chances are a bit slim. 'coz he's the type that wouldn't want to mess up with his friend's girl nor make his life complicated :-p. But if that happens, i wouldn't know what to do... really.
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