who is to blame?

Philippines
July 22, 2008 11:15pm CST
in our community, the boys who i grew up with, or at least a majority of them, didn't turn out well in their lives. while the girls became professionals, some of them working abroad, these guys failed to graduate, don't have jobs, and can be seen in the neighborhood store from morning till late evening. what do they do? in the morning, they play basketball, beside the store. midmorning, they take snacks there. lunchtime, they go home, take a nap probably, then come back again at the store in the afternoon. sometimes they play basketball again. then early evening, they would order a round of hard drinks and get wasted throughout the night. so where would they get the money? naturally, from their parents. where else? they don't have jobs, and they do this day in and day out. how could they stand doing this? how could they not help their parents and instead waste their lives and even ask their parents for money. but another question is, what happened here? are these situations only the problem of the children? these are no longer kids, but grown ups from their mid-20s to late 30s. and they are still dependent on their parents. is this really the fault of the children or there was something wrong with their upbringing? what do you think of this situation? what would you do if you are in this situation? good day and God bless you!
1 person likes this
4 responses
@karmendra (1123)
• India
24 Jul 08
i think parents are responsible for that and boys are also responsible for themselves. and i think most of the problem is their living style the looked always wealthy atmosphere from their childhood or they seemed like that. when the time comes to do any job, they thought they don't have skills. after that they think about easiest way to earn money they always dream about. and now they don't like to do any job, because they think that they are not made for it, but the fact is they are not responsible. if i am in this situation then i ll make a plan for me, first i ll improve my skill in any field that can i easily do. second i ll do any little or part time job, to improve my confidence. last i will leave my parents till i will be a responsible person. have a nice day..
24 Jul 08
hello! I was surfing the net when i happened upon an article about "12 rules for raising delinquent children". One of the rules was: Give the child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his. Why should he have things as tough as you did? I don't know if this is what the parents did. Maybe... and there is also the possibility that these parents are harder on the boys... i mean parents have the tendency to be hard on boys and they treat their daughters better than they would their sons. Yet maybe, both can be at fault. These "boys" have the choice about what they will do with their lives.
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
23 Jul 08
Hi spoiled, I believed the person to be blame first are the parents for allowing to support these people...If the parents are very interested to help them grow up and learn, they have to stop providing them with money. So, they will take an initiative to earn to they can support their wants.. I have not known anyone who is like this in our community..Everyone seems to be responsible in helping out for the finances of the family..though not a perfect scenario, the common is, getting pregnant at a young age!
@Kemboi (341)
• Eldoret, Kenya
23 Jul 08
Automatically the person to be blamed is the parent. The parent has got responsibility to teach their children the right ways to go. If the parents fail there would a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation that does not set its heart bright. So those boys need a proper discipline not by beating but it is by encouragement and especially by inspiration. If negative measures are warranted, administer them wisely.