Did I Have The Right To Go Off The Deep End???

@jennysp8 (855)
United States
July 27, 2008 3:01pm CST
Warning: This is a long one Okay, to give a brief description of my problem: I have been married for three years. I have actually known my husband since I was 15 - I am 27 now. Since we began dating four year ago, his parents have treated me terribly. Nasty letters mailed to my home about how I am un-Godly and how I will burn forever in hell and how God would have never wanted their son to be with me - it was against God's plan (all because I had two children already when we entered our relationship) Well, I let all that go in hopes that they would come around - all for my husband. That worked for a while but over the last year, his father has been rude and crude every chance he got. Basically treating us like we are children that have no idea how we should run our own home. I got told last week that I didn't deserve the Explorer we were looking at buying (have have since got) because I am a stay at home mom and I don't need a car. My husband (the breadwinner according to my father in law) is the only one who needs a car. Mind you, my kids are 6 & 5 - I have preschool I have to get my son to - doctors appt's. - the bank - the postoffice - etc...and no car because for the past year my old minivan has had problem after problem costing a total of $3000 in repairs. We finally had it and told them until they straighten up and treat me with respect they can stay the heck out of our lives...they are no longer welcome in our home. Today I received an email from my father in law basically stating how he pulled my husbands credit report (he knows his ss#) and pointed out how were were behind on this or that a couple months ago and how we need to "straighten up". Okay, yes, we fell alittle behind but with $3000 in car repairs in the last year, a broken sewage pipe in the basement that costed us $4000 to have repaired and a broken water line in the yard costing us $2000 - things got tight for a moment...duh I went off the deep end and flipped out..I told him what he did was illegal and if I EVER find out he does that again I will have his butt in jail - father or no father he has no right to do that....plus, every time you pull a credit report- your score is affected...And apparently not everyone feels that I had the right to do that..... Would you have flipped out too?
2 people like this
4 responses
• United States
27 Jul 08
First off, I don't blame you for flipping out. This kind of behavior is just unacceptable. They hyper-Religious tend to do the exact opposite of what they preach being judgemental and hypocritical. Personally if it was me, I'd just give them a lesson in their own religion. Might think of sending them something like this: [b]John 8:7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. Matthew 7 1Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 3And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? 4Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? 5Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. Romans 2 1Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things. Dr. Richard J. Krejcir in his sermon "The Perils of the Judgmental Attitude" When we are focused on seeing the corruption and deceit in others, it is because we are filled with it ourselves, and we do not take the Word of God seriously. What if God judged us as we do others? The answer again is, do not judge, and do not be hypocritical! Yet, Christians can be the some of most critical and arrogant people on earth! We must come to the place where we let God remove our pride! Remember, God searches our hearts. What will He find in yours? [/b]
1 person likes this
@jennysp8 (855)
• United States
28 Jul 08
Thanks! Those are really good - I will have to use them..
@shooie (4989)
• United States
26 Aug 08
But we also have to remember there are two sides to every story. Would be like me coming on here and bashing my mother in-law and the way she cusses us all out and says mean things just to be hateful. What should I do? But the other side of the story is well I met her right after we got married and she loved me and we got along great even a visit after that. Well things changed and she changed. She had a stroke. You guys wouldn't know that unless I would of not told you then you could give an answer to help. Which am not needing answers I go visit her even when she cusses me out. shrugs she doesn't know what she is doing. But my point is on the internet and or in mylot You/We only hear one side of the story on everything. We hear/see what people type and or want us to hear. Venting yes that may be all that they are doing. I just try to look at it with the there are two sides to every story and we are not innocent in life.
• United States
27 Aug 08
Shooie, I live in the real world. I know that things are not always as represented especially on an online forum. I'm fully aware that I am only hearing one side of the story. The woman asked a question, I answered it based on available information, simple as that. Your lecture was not necessary and rather condescending. What was your real point here?
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (114256)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Jul 08
I think you have exhibited as extreme restraint. I couldn't do it! I am so thankful to hear that your husband backs you and is in this with you. Try to ignore him as much as you can. Don't go down to his level. He won't live forever.Wasn't that terrible of me? What is your mother in laws take on all this? I wish you luck in this. It sounds as if you are a very intelligent woman and so will make good decisions in this. Good Luck to you!
@jennysp8 (855)
• United States
28 Jul 08
Thanks! As far as my mother in law - she is backing her husband so she has not spoken to us in a long time....
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
27 Jul 08
I believe that they are very much in the wrong for not on the nasty letters from the beginning of your relationship but also for emailing you and telling you that he has looked at his son's credit report and has further instructed you to "straighten up" God teaches to love all and not judge, and he is doing just the opposite. I truly hope everything gets straightened for you in regards to their mal behavior and that your husband continues to support your own opinions and does not stray. !
1 person likes this
@jennysp8 (855)
• United States
28 Jul 08
Thanks!! I hope he continues to back me up too!!
@shooie (4989)
• United States
26 Aug 08
Was your father in-law you should of let your husband deal with it since it was his dad. There are ways to deal with in-laws without flipping out. You both agreed they shouldnt come over so you should of sat down and had a discussion with your husband over it.
1 person likes this