Friends:Do you ever make excuses when it comes to hanging out?
By hellcowboy
@hellcowboy (7374)
United States
August 3, 2008 12:14pm CST
I have recently been thinking and I decided to make a discussion and ask all of you mylotters out there Do you have a friend or friends that you do not like to hang out with?Why do you not like hanging out with them?Do you make excuses just so you do not have to hang out with them?Or do you honestly say you do not want to hang out with them and risk them getting mad?Have you ever had a friend make excuses when it comes to hanging out with you?Or are your friends usually honest when they do not want to hang out?The main reason I am doing this discussion is because the other day as well as on several different occasions one of my friends called and wanted me and my fiance to come hang out with him,his wife,and his two kids at Wal Mart I did not really want to go and neither did my fiance,and since we parked the Blazer I used to drive,and now we drive my dads truck whenever it is there,I told him my dad had to go somewhere and that we could not get the truck which was a lie which I hate doing that to him,I do like hanging out with him,and I do not want to hurt his feelings,the reason I hate hanging out with him is because of his wife,she is often loud,and she never keeps her mouth shut and she is always trying to start trouble with everyone which is a real annoyance if you ask me,and then there is the fact that she does not always take care of her kids,and I do not see why the state has not taken her kids away,my friend is not the best father,but at least he tries and he is the only one making money,because his wife refuses to get a job,and half the time she will make other people take care of their children because she does not feel like it,and she will often beat on my friend just to get what she wants,this has often caused authoritive action,I do not see why my friend married her,and he has on countless times said he was going to file for a divorce,and I wish he would,so tell me does this sound like someone you would want to be around?I will appreciate all responses I get to this discussion,and I will also appreciate everyone who approaches this discussion with seriousness,as with all my other discussions,and gives me honest truthful answers, and I promise I will comment on all responses I get,but the quality of my comments will depend on the quality of the responses,have a great day.
2 people like this
6 responses
@lisa0351 (303)
• United States
5 Aug 08
Wow I totally feel your pain on this topic. I have a friend that fits that category. She is obnoxious, she gets drunk every time I'm with her, shes annoying, and loud. One time, I felt bad and hung out with her, she was the D.D. and ended up getting wasted, I had drank a few drinks but had no choice but to drive home. Good friend, huh! I finally got up the nerve to ditch her, and I told her nicely I was hanging out with other friends. She got drunk (of course) and ended up spreading really mean rumors about me....she was never a friend to me, and now she knows that.
My advice to you, is to do what makes you happy. You have to do what you feel is right, whether its nice or not. Life is too short to worry about what people think, especially if they have done you wrong. When youre a good person, its hard to hang out with trouble makers...especially when you try to do the good thing and keep up a good reputation. I finally got so annoyed that I told her where to go and exactly what I thought, you will feel so much better if you do!
1 person likes this
@lisa0351 (303)
• United States
6 Aug 08
I feel bad for anyone else who has to deal with this type of thing. It can be embarrassing, and also can make you so mad your can't stand it. It can mess up relationships, and ultimately the stupidity of that so called friend can end friendships with your "real" friends. You just have to do what your heart tells you to, eventually it will reach a point to where you cannot stand to even be in the same room as that person. Just like my friend, we were at an event a few weeks ago and she was there. I watched her hang out with her other friends, and how they reacted to her. Plus she was so loud I could hear her a mile away. You and your fiancee keep on keeping on, just ignore that person as hard as it is, and eventually they will get the hint. If not, just tell that person how you feel. Good luck! I've got my fingers crossed for you!
@hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
6 Aug 08
I agree you just have to do what the heart says to,and I am coming to the point where I can not stand to be in a room with her,we will keep on keeping on,and we will continue to ignore that evil wife of his,and if they will not get the hint I will tell him straight out how I feel and if he stops being my friend then it is his problem,thanks for well wishes,and thanks for keeping your fingers crossed for me you are a really nice person,thanks for responding,have a great day,good luck in your life,and Happy Posting.
@Reesers (1387)
• United States
3 Aug 08
No, it doesn't sound like someone I would want to hang out with. Have you tried talking to your friend about it? Any idea what's keeping him from finally saying he's had enough and filing for divorce? He certainly doesn't sound happy and I imagine the children would pick up on that. They all may be better off without her.
To answer your first question - yes, I do have a friend like that. She's always saying that we should hang out, go shopping or to the movies. I've never given in. The reason for that is that she's...really into me. By that I mean she wants to do and see the things I've done, go everywhere I've been, etc. Basically it seems she wants my life. I knew her back in junior and high school but she wasn't like that then. We lost touch until she contacted me a couple of years ago on myspace. Now she wants to know every little detail. She asks about my other friends, even talks about them like she knows them. She has even posted blogs that are things that I have said or already posted before. It all seems a bit stalkerish and has freaked me out a bit. That's why I'm careful in what I say to her and withold information.
I've done and seen things that a lot of people dream about but my life isn't really all that exciting. I'm clueless as to why she's latched onto me like she has so I just try to distance myself as much as I can.
1 person likes this
@hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
3 Aug 08
I have told him on multiple occasions that I do not like her and that I do not like being around her,but he tells me he loves her,and apparently she has him wrapped around her finger,and I think they would be better off without her,and I am sorry that you have a friend like that,and it does seem a bit stalkerish and I do not blaming you for getting a little freaked out,and I think it is definitely a good idea to watch what you say to her,and who knows why she decided to latch on you,and I am glad you try to keep your distance from her,thanks for responding,have a great day, good luck in your life,and Happy Posting.
@Reesers (1387)
• United States
5 Aug 08
It sounds like she does indeed have him wrapped around her finger. It's a shame that it prevents you from hanging out with him but I can understand where you're coming from. If you don't feel comfortable, then there's no reason to put yourself in that position.
Maybe it will take something to really open his eyes and finally make the move to get out of that relationship. I do hope he's able to work it out and you can continue to be friends.
@hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
5 Aug 08
It is a shame that it keeps me from hanging out with him,and I am glad that you can see where I am coming from and I agree there is no need to put myself in that situation,and I do hope that he will open his eyes,and see that things need to change so we can continue to be friends,thanks for responding,have a great day,good luck in your life,and Happy Posting.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
13 Aug 08
Hi hellcowboy,
[i]I have also friends whom I don't like to hang out with! But not many and not very close friends though..
When I will receive an invitation, I always make an alibi or excuse...I don't like to insult them by telling them that I don't like to hang out with them since they are not also hurting me so far just that we are totally different...She is the person who is very sensitive and she wants to be the center of attention all the time, wants everyone in the group praise her for what she dress, things like that and it's hard to be doing it all the time...I want her to act and behave as her age but I do know what is also her struggles in life...So, most of the time, will prefer not to hang out with them![/i]
1 person likes this
@hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
13 Aug 08
That sucks that you also have friends that you wish not to hang out with,but that is good that it is not many,and that they are not very close friends,and I can understand that you like to make excuses so you do not insult them by telling them you do not want to hang out with them,and I can understand that people like that are hard to be around,thanks for responding,have a great day,good luck in your life,and Happy Posting my friend.
@ghidz142126 (534)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
First try to talk with your friend to resolve this issue and give him some advice that may help the two of them to find a better solution about the problem of his wife,if i were you tell to him the true reason why you don't want to go with them whenever they'll go out,there is nothing wrong in telling the truth,but tell it in a nice way for him not to be hurt and i think that he can understand you because of what you feel when you join their company.
@hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
4 Aug 08
I have tried talking to him many times about why I do not like his wife,and how it do not like being around her,and he always tells me she is not that bad,that you she is a good person and that he loves her,she has him wrapped around her finger and he basically does whatever she wants,I have tried being nice when I told him,and I have also came right out and said I can not stand your wife,but it does not seem to help either way,thanks for responding,have a great day,good luck in your life,and Happy Posting my friend.
@kissie34 (2294)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
I also experience many times already of making excuses because I don't want to hang out with my friends and to someone particularly.. Well,the reason why I don't want to hang out to that person because she was very humble.. Her mouth cannot stop saying all the good things about herself and sharing all of her experiences that it seems she is a super star.. And then sometimes, she is hanging with boys that I had never met.. Actually, she is meeting with her textmate since, she was afraid to meet them alone she will invite us to go with her.. With some of my other friends, I don't want to hang out with them because they are not sometimes fun to be with.. And I feel very tired hanging out with them because they will go for window shopping but then they don't even buy anything.. I make some excuses like me and boyfriend will go to their house, or my boyfriend don't allow me to go to the mall due to blah.. blah.. blah.. Anyways, I always make so many excuses and I think they know that I don't want to hang out with them..
Anyways, I always make so many excuses and I think they know that I don't want to hang out with them.. @hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
4 Aug 08
I can understand that you make excuses because you do not want to hang out with your friend because she is really humble,and that sucks that it seems like she thinks she is a superstar or something,and I can understand that she does not want to meet her textmate alone,and I can understand that you do not want to hang out with some of your other friends because you are bored of them because they like to do too much window shopping,and I understand you make those type of excuses to keep from hanging out with them,and yeah they might have figured out that you do not want to hang out with them if not it might make things easier if you just come out and tell them you do not want to hang out,thanks for responding,have a great day,good luck in your life,and Happy Posting.
@crunkyjens (463)
• United States
12 Aug 08
There have been times that I haven't wanted to hang out with my friends but it was more me just being antisocial instead of having a problem with one of them. I guess I have made excuses though in the past whether it be I had plans with my boyfriend (when he really had to work) or maybe I didn't feel good or had a bad headache. There have been times that I was straight up with them and just said I didn't feel like going out. They never got mad at me, I could tell at times that they were a little bit disappointed, but I was never worried they would get pissed or not talk to me.
From your explanations I don't think I would want to be around your friend's wife either. She doesn't sound like a very nice or responsible woman, so I don't blame you for making up the excuse. Although really, who just goes to hang out at Walmart? LOL Although I think for the long run you might want to be a little honest with your friend and tell him that sometimes you do not always want to hang out because you disagree with some things regarding his wife. I think he has said countless times he wants a divorce he would understand. He might be upset at first but hopefully in the long run he will realize what you are getting at.
@hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
13 Aug 08
I can understand that there has been times where you have not wanted to hang out with you friends,and I can understand making excuses to avoid it,but I am glad there has been times where you were straight up with them,and I am sure that they might have been disappointed,but if they are real friends they will not be mad at you because of it,and I am glad that you can see my point and would not want to hang out with my friends wife either,and I have tried telling him that I do not want to be around his wife because I can not stand her,but all he says is he loves her and I need to get used to her,thanks for responding,have a great day,good luck in your life,and Happy Posting.
