HoW do yOu put conFidence back into a man?

Canada
August 3, 2008 1:34pm CST
So my bf has been living in Spain for 8months now. His visa expired and he still has no job, due to the fact that jobs are limited. I feel bad for him, because his ego is getn crushed. I am paying the bills and working for us. He is feeling like " What kind of man am I, Letting my wife pay all the bills? " He is a hard working man, just a job offer has not been given to him, in this new country. He was living off savings of $4000 Euros; but after 8months of living on it,now is my turn to pay the bills. I dont know what to say to him? I have no problem paying the bills, because i know the circumstances. He feels bad that ge cannot buy me gifts and dinners out, and movies like he used too. But i dont mind! I love him and i dont need all that, i simply need him and his love. How do i put the confidence back into my man? How do i re-assure him that its ok that i am paying the bills until he gets a job?
1 person likes this
6 responses
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
Gosh! We're on the same shoe right now. It's really a confusing matter for men. But it's always a matter of communication. Just don't be too pushy. As a wife, we must support whatever his pland are. Let him feel that you'll be there to help. Assure him that if all his plans fail, you'll be ready to assist. But don't be too pushy. Acknowledge his leadership no matter what. =)
• Canada
4 Aug 08
That is the biggest thing i am learning! You got to be the women by his side. And still make him believe hes the man lol
@n30wing (4768)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
I know how your husband feels. I been in their in that situation. My ego was crush but my gf did not leave me she was always there at my side. Life was not that easy I was so ashamed but she was always their listening to me, give me importance, and she never turn her back. Life is not that easy, even here theirs a lot of problems with finding a job. It took me 4 month to have a job and I was not happy. She even find ways like buying news paper to look for a job for me and even accompany me to look for a job. She even asked her friends if their is vacancy in their companies. She tells me Have faith in God, God is good, God is always with us, don't loose hope. God will make a way. Just feel that your on a vecation and just rest your mind. So that time I was jobless I was helping her in the house chores for her to let my mind out of the situation. She even make me read a lot of books more on self esteem. God bless! Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
• Canada
4 Aug 08
Awww you got yourself a sweet girl
@liyanne (41)
• Philippines
3 Aug 08
This may really sound mushy but what you can do is just assure him that you will still be together through thick and thin, for richer and for poorer.. I have seen a lot of relationship go into waste just because of money.. Don't let your relationship be one of those.. Soon enough, he will find a job..
1 person likes this
• Canada
3 Aug 08
That dont sound too mushy hehehe. Thats good advice. Thank you
@ruby222 (4848)
3 Aug 08
Just be your loving self,he will ask no more than that,my hubby was very poorly and lost his confidence very badly,and with a lot of love,and an extra helping of praise he was able to regain a lot of it,it just takes time,they are so used to the `man the hunter` theme,and if woman is the hunter then they need time to adjust,just give him an extra spoonful of love.
• Canada
3 Aug 08
Thanks!
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
Good day.. Just be yourself and remind him that he can have a job one day. he just need to believe in himself and make him feel that you still love him and want him despite of that circumstances.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
gave him a time and dont try to presure him if he had no jobb