My friend felt bad......

@sivanj (1263)
India
August 8, 2008 5:49am CST
I had an occasion recently and i was not able to attend my friend's sister's marriage because of some reason. I felt bad that i didn't call him and wish also. Then afterwards on one day i met him and told that i could not attend the marriage and told him sorry for that. But my friend felt bad and didn't even talk to me. He is very angry that i purposefully didn't attend the marriage. I don't know how to handle this. Do you have any suggestions? Also express your views on what i did. Am i wrong?
3 people like this
14 responses
8 Aug 08
In my opinion the only mistake you did was not wishing them the best of luck. Just becuase you didn't attend the marriage doesn't break your friendship or mean you didn't on purpose. Mistakes and accidents happen and they don't first come knocking on your door. My advice is to write him a letter, becuase that way you can express your feelings and apologize in a proper way and he will feel comfortable reading it. This is because it will be harder for you to talk in person and he might not listen to what you have to say. So, just sit down write a meaningful letter and send a wedding card to the newly wedded congratulating them. Goodluck!
8 Aug 08
I can understand him being mad because you did not call him and let him know that you could not afford to go. He may have come up with some solution. I am sure that if he feels strongly for you and you have been friends for a while he will forgive you. Give him a big hug. Let him know that you will not let him down again. That if you have any problems about something again you will talk to him. I hope everything will work out for you.
@insulin (2483)
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
awww I'm sorry to hear that..Well if I will be in your situation,I guess I will find a way to make him feel better...I'm sure you can handle that..I know he can understand that maybe you got important thing to do or somethin that is why you didn't attend the occasion...Just try to explain every single thing that you need to explain so that he will understand it...:-0 A true friend always understands you in all angles...:-0 Good luck and have a nice day
2 people like this
@winzpc (2356)
• Indonesia
8 Aug 08
I think you are not wrong in this situation. You can't attend the marriage because of the occasion reason and not because you consciously not attend it. So you must express to him the reason and you must not hate him because of this. You must still make him/her feel that he/she is still your friend. I think some day he/she will forgive you. Hope this can help you.
2 people like this
@snakequeen (1300)
• India
8 Aug 08
Had you been in your friend's place what you would have thought, or done, just do some self-introspection. It would have been preferable to have put a word to your friend, at the time when he made an invitation to you for her sister's marriage, that your attending the marriage is subject to your preoccupation or the occasion you mentioned. Had you done that beforehand, your friend wouldn't have reason to be angry with you. However, now past is past. You have to give your friend now sometime to get over the ill feeling and come to terms with you. In the meantime, if you really like him, try to convince him whenever possible, through different means.
2 people like this
@rocker21 (2717)
• India
8 Aug 08
aww tats sad dont worry he might understand it as soon as possible
2 people like this
@ashnigam (96)
• India
8 Aug 08
First of all, please don't feel so sad about the issue if you had a genuine reason not to attend the marriage function and if your conscious was clear. On the other hand it shows that you have a great friendship with your friend. Otherwise he would not have expected you to be there and your absence might not have hurt him so badly. But remember that such trivial issues don't break a long-lasting friendship. Just go to him, give him a nice hug and say that you value him and his friendship and I am sure he will appreciate your gesture.
2 people like this
@pkraj111 (2459)
• India
8 Aug 08
There is nothing wrong with what you did. Your friend has think from your side also and understand your situation. Just have a talk with him and give him some time to come to his wits
2 people like this
• United States
8 Aug 08
Was it because you were jealous? If not, I don't understand why he is mad. This is a committment between his wife and he, he should be happy about the marriage no matter who attended, or not. People get married pick a day and expect everyone to change their lives because of it... makes no sense to me.
2 people like this
• Philippines
9 Aug 08
I think you are wrong for not informing your friend that you couldnt come. But I thnk he should understand that because there is a reason behind it. So anyway, I think you should just say your reason. If he does not want to talk to you, write a letter or go to his place and mean that you are sorry.
@memorable (114)
• United States
9 Aug 08
Well i think that you should have at least aknowledge it and gave him a call to let him know you were not able to attend for whatever reason because you would have not wanted this done too you.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Aug 08
He mustnot be a true friend or he would not care. I mean if you had something happening and you could not go then that is not your fault. He sounds like a drama queen. My suggestion is to tell him to foook off. Sorry for being so blunt but I live with a drama queen and they are no fun. They are selfish. If they wern't then they would relize that the world does not revolve around them.
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12846)
• Australia
9 Aug 08
well, it really depends on your reason why you couldn't come and is it valid enough or not??? also, i don't understand why you didn't call your friend to explain to him the reason why after you miss his sister's wedding... i am also thinking are you close enough to his sister that makes him so angry when you didn't attend the wedding?? anyway, i wish you all the best... i hope you can talk things out and sort this out with him... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Aug 08
If you had called and explained your friend wouldn't have been upset. But not even calling makes it look like from his point of view you just don't care. In his shoes I would be upset also. I don't think it was right that you didn't call to explain the reason why you could not come. I think you were wrong only in the part of not calling him and letting him you could not be there. You will have to let your friend have time to get over what you did.