Betrayed..

@NrgDfenZ (1810)
Belgium
August 12, 2008 5:06pm CST
Hi all I feel kind of betrayed at the moment.. A friend of me lied in my face, even after I asked her not to lie.. Ow man that really hurts.. Should I forgive him ? O should I do something else ??? Have you ever had something similar ?? Thx
2 responses
@reckon21 (3487)
• Philippines
12 Aug 08
Even if you are friends with somebody it doesn't guarantee that they will treat you with honesty. Lies is part in every relationship. One must learn to deal with it.
@capirani (1841)
• United States
12 Aug 08
I do not agree that lies are part of every relationship. But if you allow it to be, you will always be susceptible to being lied to. When your friends/family or whoever knows that you will not tolerate being lied to, and you follow through on it, they will soon know you mean business. People do have the right to not be friends with someone who is dishonest with them. How can people be friends with people they cannot trust? If it is a first lie, chances are that when you stand up for yourself, and if they are good friends, they will be truly sorry and will work to rebuild trust. But if it is habitual lying...then what kind of friend is this? Not one I would keep. Most of my friends do not lie to each other. It is just not acceptable behavior and we all know that about each other.
@capirani (1841)
• United States
12 Aug 08
Forgiving is one thing. Trusting again is something totally different. Once someone lies, trust has been broken indefinitely and needs to be rebuilt. And you are not obligated to continue that kind of friendship. You have to decide how important this friend of yours is to you, how long you have been friends, and whether you will ever be able to trust her again. Forgiving on the other hand is more important for you than for her. When you can't forgive, resentment keeps building and can lead to illness and emotional difficulties. When you can't forgive, the other person has control of your feelings. Forgiving does not mean you condone what someone did to you. It means you let it go. Forgiving does not mean you feel any better about what happened or that you will ever forget about it. But as long as you don't forgive, you will continue to have those negative hurtful feelings inside and you won't be able to get rid of them. It doesn't mean that it what they did is okay with you. It just means you are not going to let it have control of your life anymore. And it releases you to make healthier decisions...like whether you want to keep this person as your friend and give her a chance to rebuild that trust.