Do you believe in second chances?
By metalhalo
@metalhalo (599)
United States
August 26, 2008 12:14pm CST
Hello all! Just a few curious questions for you. Feel free to speak openly.
If you found yourself not having any luck dating someone new, would you get back with an ex?
Would it be wise to try and regain that relationship and give it a go again?...or would it just be to satisfy a quick need you had?
Do you believe in second chances?
Our exes are an ex for a reason. What's your opinion about going back to an ex? I've gone back to exes in the past before I was married and it never turned out well. The reasons we broke up in the first place always seemed to shine through again. Has going back to an ex lover worked for you? Were you able to just let the past be the past. Or were you trying to relive in the past? Maybe you're one who believes that the past is the past and there's no point in trying to return to that place?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@metalhalo (599)
• United States
28 Aug 08
I think it's definitely a good idea to let the past be the past and never look back. It can be confusing when exes want to relive it and try to drag you back into the good memories that you once shared. Yes, I've got some wonderful memories, ones that I'll hold onto forever but I also remember the horrible ones also. Those horrible ones remind me of why it didn't work out in the first place.
Making new wonderful memories is what it's all about.
@metalhalo (599)
• United States
26 Aug 08
Maybe it seems worse the second time around is because you have such great expectations of it working out this time and when they don't you feel the failure even more because you've already had a taste of it before. Does that make sense?
I don't know...if I was single and decided to get back with an ex. There would already be that past failure there in the back of my mind. It would be harder to gain that respect back than if it was somebody new that I hadn't dated yet.
Or maybe they're just doomed from the start when it comes to second chances. You already know all their flaws and whatever mistakes were made in the past with them. You'd have that floating in your mind.
@melanie1208 (133)
• United States
26 Aug 08
If you broke up with someone, it means that there is something wrong in a relationship. And if you get together again the second time, and have not fixed the problem, i think it won't do you anygood at all. For me relieving the past, is not good because you could not move on to what the future could bring you. Past is past, just like history. some second chances works but most of them does not. I have a bestfriend once, we have a misunderstanding, because for me, she betrayed my trust, I was so hurt and takes me a long time to forgive her. As times goes, that pain healed, I forgive but the relationship is not the same. For me you can forgive someone, but you could not forget something happened to the relationship, right ?
1 person likes this
@metalhalo (599)
• United States
26 Aug 08
Yes, you are completely right. I've always heard that saying "Forgive and forget". Well that's just something I can't do and I've always had trouble trying. I can easily forgive someone because I can't stand holding grudges..it's a waste of time and energy. But I can't ever actually "forget" what they did. I think I agree with everything you said.
For some odd reason it takes me longer to forgive a girl friend if she's betrayed me than it does if it was a guy. Maybe it's because I don't have many girl friends and the ones I do I hold close to me. Don't get me wrong..it hurts all the same when it's a guy..but I don't know, maybe I expect guys to do that. It's always been guys who have hurt me the worst. I can't imagine my best girl friends to do that to me.
