August 26, 2008 1:15pm CST
Friends and members of myLot! Please suggest me how to deal with a wicked / quarrelsome wife. Your suggestions will be helping me a lot...
26 Aug 08
Is that your wife or your friend's wife that you're talking about? As you mentioned "a wicked wife" instead of "my wicked wife" - it sounds like somebody's wicked wife than yours. If that's your wife that you've labelled as 'wicked', perhaps you should ask yourself why did you marry her in the first place? There should be something you like about her that makes you want to marry her, unless your marriage was an pre-arranged marriage where you've no choice. Find out what are the issues/ things that cause her to start a fight with you. Deal with that cause, instead of quarrelling with her. There must be something that triggers/ provoke her, something that she couldn't stand, that make her complaining. Is she facing some problems where she has no one to talk to, or no where to release her stress? Or she feels that no one understands her emotional needs? Or is she feeling insecure? Likewise you also need to tell her how you feel, but find a good time to talk, when both of you have cooled down. It takes two to tango...as well as quarrel. If you try to remain calm and not to respond in an aggressive way. Simply let your anger pass before you speak, perhaps you can drink a glass of water, wash your face or do something simple to distract you from being angry. She wouldn't have an opponent if your not fighting back, and if she doesn't have an opponent, she can't fight / quarrel. After you cool down, and look at the issue at hand, it might be just a small matter. Ask yourself, which is more important — to win a battle and lost your wife & a potentially good marriage? Or to simply take it easy, let her win the battle, but save your marriage (that could be a wonderful marriage if both of you try hard enough). Someone has to take the first step. If neither of you is willing to give in, nothing will ever work out. Try to find out what troubles her and help her. Talking to her in a subtle manner, but always find a good time, when you are both more relax, not at times where both of you are rushing to do errands/ work. When you change your perception to look at things differently, or put yourself in her shoes, perhaps it will change the way you react towards her, and it will change how she reacts toward you. Don't expect others to change, if yourself is unwilling to make some changes. It's not who's fault that you need to pin-point. It's about what causes it and how to deal with it. Pointing fingers at each other will just make things worse, but change nothing. Hope these tips can help you mend your relationship with your wife. You'll never know what will happen tomorrow or even the next few minutes. Mend your relationship while you still can. If something happen to her, and you would probably regret it, if your last words to her were nothing pleasant at all.