Eating disorders
By lovelylizzie
@lovelylizzie (327)
United States
November 5, 2006 11:57am CST
I'm a recovering bulimic and wanted to post something about this on-going issue with today's women. A lot of us have eating disorder, be it not eating at all or eating way too much.
It bugs me that we are programmed to be as thin as possible to be socially accepted. I remember how uncomfortable I was after I had my twins. I blew up to 210 while pregnant, then went down to 180+ and developed a harsh eating disorder. I wasn't comfortable with my body being so huge. Prior to my pregnancy, I weighed 127. But even then I wasn't happy with my weight. So getting to be so big over an 8 month period was really hard on me.
I turned to purging. I have to say, it worked well..but I looked so sick. I was always on the verge of faiting and my skin looked discolored.
I finally seeked help and am recovering today. I sometimes fall back into the habit of purging when I'm too stressed out and don't have my medication refilled.
It's awful, but am doing somewhat better. I'm not completely better. I don't eat enough sometimes or eat way too healthy (yes, there's such a thing!)
so I was wondering if anyone has had the same problem. share your story?
2 people like this
4 responses
@SimplyMe (373)
• United States
7 Nov 06
I am, for all intents and purposes, a recovered bulimic/anorectic. From the age of 16 to my late twenties I lived that lifestyle. I am now in my forties and the mother of four girls. I no longer purge, but I have to say that I find comfort (sometimes) restricting my diet. It seems that since I have hit forty, I stay at the same weight no matter what I do. This is both comforting and frustrating, depending on the day. I enjoy food and my life so much more than I did when I was younger that eating and weight don't weigh as heavy on my mind as they did years ago. I am happy with the way I am. Thank you for the start of this discussion. I rarely discuss my past behavior with anyone. Just put one foot in front of the other and have no regrets!
2 people like this
@lovelylizzie (327)
• United States
9 Nov 06
well eating disorders are often hidden behaviour amongst us females. I thought I'd shed some light on it..especially since I feel like it's starting to taunt me again.
you say you stay at the same weight? is this weight a high one or a low one? I'm so scared of hitting a high weight and staying there forever. I'd have to rob a bank for lipo!
I'm curious as to how you restrict your diet. don't share if it's going to trigger you in any way, i'm just asking out of curiousty.
@SimplyMe (373)
• United States
9 Nov 06
My weight is just about right for my height: 127 & 5'4". Sometimes it goes to 130, sometimes to 125, but not much variation from that. If I restrict, I eat very little for the day. Sometimes I do this if I know I am going out later. Also with the holidays coming up I allow myself to eat whatever I want, just not very much of it.
@lovelylizzie (327)
• United States
13 Nov 06
that's not a bad weight for your height! I'd be satisifed if I were you =) but I know the aftermath of having kids never leaves your body looking the same. I have these narly strech marks on my tummy that make me feel so fat but I'm really not. three weeks ago, I bought my first pairs of size 0's.. I need a tummy tuck =( anyway, I've been good.
it is one step at a time, isn't it..
@miajane (359)
• United States
16 Nov 06
i am a recovering coe/bulimic. i think that the hardest thing for me is to rationalise eating. i have to convince myself that its ok now. but i feel like i'll start another binge if i eat even just a bite. its a daily struggle.
i'm still aiming to lose weight. my goal for the end of the year is 110 lbs. i'm trying to do it as healthily as possible, but i really wanna get to my goal.
@lovelylizzie (327)
• United States
16 Nov 06
i understand your struggle..it's hella hard. have you gotten help for your bulimia? I've been taking topamax for the purging and I can't even tell you how much it's helped. not only has it made the purging stopped (I haven't purged in over a month and half) but it makes you lose a bit of weight!
does it get worse for you when you get super stressed?
@lovelylizzie (327)
• United States
28 Dec 06
I totally thought I already responded to this already.
This discussion is kind of about being a bulimic. did you read what I wrote originally?
@librachick (8)
• United States
22 Dec 06
sooo you are recovering? I am battling bulemia right now and I want to stop. It just seems that it is getting waaaaay outta control. Where do I even begin?? I just want to be like I used to be. Eating normally.
@lovelylizzie (327)
• United States
22 Dec 06
I'll always be recovering.
If yo uhave insurance, I strongly suggest you go see a shrink about this..it's what helped me.
I too was on downward spiarl. It was effecting my being. Doing it in restuarants and other peoples houses, it was just bad. it consumed my thoughts all the time..planned out what I'd eat and how'd i'd purge it. but the high was amazing.
I was losing weight like crazy.
the doctor gave me topamax to control the urges. and it's worked for almost a year. sometimes, I have my moments where I go back to my old habits, but it's rare.
hugs and best wishes
@librachick (8)
• United States
23 Dec 06
its very hard. thanks for your response. i do need therapy!
@lovelylizzie (327)
• United States
23 Dec 06
good luck, librachick. I hope you face your fears (it was so difficult for me, and I didn't want to do it) and get help.
There are also good forums that will help you get past this.
don't go on the pro mia/ana ones. those ones triggered the hell outta me.
hope you have a good xmas!
