What to do when your friend takes the blame on herself...

United States
August 30, 2008 2:41pm CST
I have a friend named Jessie at work and she and I get along great. Our personalities are so close, it's like having an enjoyable conversation with yourself. This, along with the fact that I am very attracted to her makes it hard for me to hear about her current situation. She has a boyfriend whom I have just discovered is a heroine addict and an abuser. I know her well enough to know that she does not fall into these same habits. She has just found out recently that he had started using AGAIN and this has made her very upset. Add abuse to the mix and I am very afraid for her. I try to be a good friend and I do not let my attraction get in the way of this. I talk to her as best as I can and I try to let her know that none of his decisions are in any way her fault but she seems to carry this huge burden of guilt on her shoulders. She has told me that she blames herself for his habit but she has not mentioned the abuse. I actually found this tidbit of information out from another of our friends. Is there any advise I can garner from people out there who have gone through similar experiences on either side?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@bellaofchaos (11549)
• United States
2 Sep 08
I can give you advice on the physical abuse side of things as I have gone through this with my previous relationship. Give me a call my number should be on your caller id since I called your bro while he was home. I'll tell you more about it then kkk.
@nengs10 (3188)
• Philippines
1 Sep 08
This is a very challenging situation. Your friend should not put the blame to her. She should talk sincerely to her boyfriend about the matter. If her boyfriend won't do any good still, she should decide for herself and leave his boyfriend. That's the best way for both of them. I know her boyfriend will soon realize her worth.