I Was Only Mostly Dead..
By tessah
@tessah (6617)
United States
September 14, 2008 11:38am CST
ive spent alot of time the last few weeks hiding from the bigger part of the world. alot asking me "whats wrong?" to recieve the reply of "nothing.. just leave me the phuck alone" seeking solitude and seclusion to lick my wounds.. pull my head out of my a55.. and stare at the backs of my eyelids trying to comprehend the evils that lurk within the hearts of man. only a few of you are privvy to the recent onslought of incidents that took my feet clean out from under me, placed a heel tween my shoulderblades, and held me faceplanted on the ground barely able to breath. to you.. i thank you. to the rest.. dont take it personally, this is just how i deal with the more difficult aspects of life. betrayals of thought-to be-friends, family, lovers.. took me apart sending me reeling into the darkness, but ive got my head back up and fused back togther fairly nicely. 
those who caused the pain, have been eradicated from my life. gone.. and never looking back. ive no room for nostalgia this time. and my mind swirls with contemplative thoughts of human nature, weak psyches, and the who`s, what`s, why`s, and wheretofore`s of it all.. questions i shall be posing to the masses here as i find the right words to make the query seeking understanding and insight into the ever present insatiable hunger for the answers. in the meantime.. youre on notice.. the b|tch is back.
those who caused the pain, have been eradicated from my life. gone.. and never looking back. ive no room for nostalgia this time. and my mind swirls with contemplative thoughts of human nature, weak psyches, and the who`s, what`s, why`s, and wheretofore`s of it all.. questions i shall be posing to the masses here as i find the right words to make the query seeking understanding and insight into the ever present insatiable hunger for the answers. in the meantime.. youre on notice.. the b|tch is back.3 people like this
6 responses
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
14 Sep 08
Yea! The beotch is back! Sorry Tess, I hate to burst you're
wee bit of a hint of a tiniest bubble, but you're really
not a beotch at all. You happen to be a very kind, sensitive
woman with a lot of deep emotions and thoughts. I know you
try so hard to cover them with your "tough" I don't give
a "sh!t tude"!, but, I have seen the real you! And, I know
I might get - or worse yet, but I once told you that I
really like you and I was right! I saw something in you.
I also want to thank you for the pen-I know why you are
now feeling better, I think and I'm glad! Like I told you,
Tess is very important, you have to be right with yourself
in order to be right with anyone or anything else! I wish I
could do that for me. I'm kinda in a bad place right now
with me and I'm trying to pull my head out of my azz too!
But, I only have me depending on me so it's not quite the
same. So, it's now your turn to throw some do-do my
way if you choose! I'm just happy that you're back and
I truly mean it!
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
14 Sep 08
Opalkitty..you are just jealous cause you aren't..lol..I have a sign at my store that says "Btches Allowed Only" its right behind my counter...lol..
1 person likes this
@tessah (6617)
• United States
15 Sep 08
i really havent any idea how to respond to this opal. - you? no.. there arent many who actually take the time to look beneath the surface, and quite honestly, im surprised by yer comments. and yer right, i needed to be right with myself.. and im getting there. solitude has a way of forcing a body to look within. but i dont wear my heart on my sleeve for a reason.. stop ruining my rep for being a hardass
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
25 Sep 08
My, my, my......the words coming out of your mouth are so poetic....you certaqinly must have cleared your head and now you can function on all cylinders again...speaking of which...how's that car of yours going? have you managed to get back to it yet?
Recent events across the board recently managed to pull me in and suck me down into the depths of despair...(how weird). But things seem to have cleared now and I'm floating on top of things now...till next time...lol.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
9 Oct 08
We are in springtime here and all the promise that it brings. Life is beautiful. Do you get severe weather conditions where you are? Perhaps the moon is affecting you....look for balance as with the darkness there is light. Feel the life and beauty around you and enjoy your menagerie, human and critter alike. You are blessed and very loved.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
15 Sep 08
welcome back tessah... i'm so sorry to hear that you have to go through so much hardships in life... i'm glad that you manage to stand up and get over them... the most important thing is to be able to get up on your feet again and forget the bitter past... may God always bless you and give you the strength to go through this life day by day... take care and have a nice day...
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
14 Sep 08
The b!tch is back! Hey, that's my best friend's motto! And it suits her well too. Funny, all my favorite women are considered b!tches by many. But I always say that the best of US are, and note that I say 'us'. I do the same as you, darling, and isoltate and internalize things when I'm feeling overwhelmed and it's the way it has to be. I've been doing it a lot lately too and I don't particularly like it, but that's what it takes for me, I guess. But seeing that you've pulled out of yourself is a wonderful thing, very uplifiting to see. So, yeah, we're definitely on notice. That b!tch is out and I think she's growling. Keep growling. And the full moon is tomorrow. So howl, sugar. Throw back your head, open your mouth, and h o w w w w l l l !!!! xx
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
14 Sep 08
Back atcha, sugarpuss. And am I gonna hear YOU tomorrow night? Yer gonna hear me, I do believe. I'm a full-moon-howler from waaaaaay back............
Ow ow ow ow oooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
14 Sep 08
Honey, I don't doubt for a SECOND that I'll feel it. Yikes. I'll just have to hold on tight, eh?
@ellie333 (21016)
•
14 Sep 08
Hi Tessa, Glad to hear that you have now come back out the other side. I am so sorry I didn't realise anything was wrong. I have my world go away moments in time too but this one sounds like it was serious. Huggles. Ellie :D
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
14 Sep 08
What is this?..I've seen you at my discussions and you are just now coming out of hiding..wrong..lol..you never left me 
