how do you stop loving someone?

You have to learn to let go. It is just the same as when you fall in love with someone who does not return your love. You just have to learn to let go and the rest is time. First of all you have to break it off with him. If you keep letting him come back it will not end. I know I have been there. I let a guy come back into my life 3 times and the third time I knew it was over. I changed. I was no longer in love with him. He did not change. I am talking about a guy who did not love me but I loved him and I should have let go the first time he vanished but I let him come back into my life 9 months later and then he went off again and I let him come back. In the end I ended it because I knew it was only hurting me. He has never contacted me again. You are the only person who can end this. You must stop wanting him, stop trying to contact him and accept in your mind that it is over even though he never officially broke it off. As long as you hold him in your heart you will keep hurting and you will not be open to anyone knew.

You can never stop until you will yourself to do so. Even if you say over and over again that you've had enough, that the pain is already killing you, but you still can't find the will to love yourself more than that person, then the consequences of loving will never stop. I'm pretty sure (though I can't speak up for everybody's pains) that it really hurts to be left hanging in the air, to be abandoned just like that when you care so much. Different solutions are applicable to different type of persons, I don't really know which type you are so I cannot be in the position of telling you what works for me. (I wrote and wrote and read and read until no enough space in my brain is set aside for people who hurt me, I don't know if that will work for you). So I would have to tell you to do something that will make yourself happy, surely your world doesn't revolve around such a cruel guy, I refuse to believe that an intellectual woman can let a man do that to her. Love yourself, you'll find yourself ceasing from loving him.