What is the worst mistake you have made in a relationship?

United States
September 19, 2008 4:37pm CST
We all make mistakes in relationships but what is the worst mistake that you have ever made in one? That is an easy question for me to answer. Seven years ago my ex-wife had an affair and I was devastated. We went to counceling for several months but no matter what I tried it just did not seem to work. Next I compromised myself and my beliefs in an effort to win her love and make her want me. All of this led me to depression and I got to the point that I hated the person I had become. Finally I began to understand that unless both parties are working at it no relationship can work. So my worst mistake was holding on to a relationship when I should have let go. So tell us what was your worst relationship mistake?
5 responses
@ravinskye (8245)
• United States
19 Sep 08
My worst mistake was making my husband doubt his trust in me. We married young and had a baby right after we got married. Things were very stressful. He wasn't one to show much attention or affection and I got lonely. We were renting his mother's house and things were tense. I started talking to this guy by coincidence and he kept my attention unlike most people I had met on the internet. On my end it was all talk. It was just nice to have someone pay attention to me and ask how my day was. I guess I kind of led him on because i had no intention on actually meeting him. well anyways my husband found out and it upset him. I cut off all contact and never have done anything like that again but i feel bad because i'm sure it is still in the back of my husbands mind.
• United States
19 Sep 08
Trust can be a very touchy issue but it can be built back.
@misskit (289)
• United States
19 Sep 08
Yes ravin, trust can be built back up, it takes time but it will happen. You actually did nothing wrong, you didn't have an affair, you didn't deliberately lead someone on, you never went out and met with him, you just talked to someone who took an interest in you at a time when you were feeling a bit lonely and left out. It will all work out very soon, don't worry he will be ok and so will you.
@lkoenig07 (290)
• United States
20 Sep 08
I think my worst "mistake" (if you can call it that) has been being very jealous. My husband has given me no reason to be this way, it's just the way I've become for some reason. Thankfully, it hasn't ruined our relationship or driven him away (yet!) but I know that I need to get it under control & I am trying to, before I do drive him away. He's told me a few times that it drives him nuts how jealous I am, and I try not to be. I don't know why I am this way. When we first started dating I wasn't at all, and for some reason it's just been progressing over the past few years.
• United States
20 Sep 08
It is hard I know when you love someone so much.
• Philippines
20 Sep 08
i think the worst mistake that i did all over is that i think and expect things would last forever when i should just live a moment and its because i realized the more expectations you have the more anxiety comes along in the relationship.
• United States
20 Sep 08
I think relationships can last forever but they require a lot of work from both people.
• India
20 Sep 08
I too believe that both parties have to work at a relationship to make it work. Once bitterness has crept in, it is very difficult to straighten things out. It is bound to get worse and worse with each passing day. The mistrust increases, unless you accept it and are willing to ignore it for the sake of harmony.
• United States
20 Sep 08
I think that couples support groups can be a great help to help get past the bitterness.
@misskit (289)
• United States
19 Sep 08
I think the worst mistake I ever made in a relationship was in thinking that if he had an affair on me and hurt me (which he did) then I could and should have a affair on him and hurt him right back (which I did), but it was a BIG mistake, I only hurt myself worse, my own self-esteem, my own self-respect, and the relationship ended anyway because of what we both did.
• United States
19 Sep 08
Ouch I guess that is a natural response to want to strike back. Too bad we find out too late that we end up hurting ourselfs more than others.