Losing A Family Member

@yuna15 (2706)
Philippines
September 27, 2008 7:52pm CST
January 13 of last year my eldest brother died of stroke. When he died none of us, his close family members where there. My brother and Mom was in Cavite but my mom had to go home to take care of something else. He died in front of my Aunt, two of my cousins and a friend who was talking to him before he died. It was such a pain to think that none of us were there with him when it happened. Me and my brother are not close to each other. We don't talk a lot and we don't even see each other a lot. The last time I saw him was December of 2006. When my daughter got hospitalized. I had a lot of hurt feelings for him before when I was still living with them. He even hurts me physically whenever he's drunk. If I think of it I still get hurt but I still have the feeling that he could have changed himself when he had his first attack. I know he learned a "few" lessons but the lessons he learned was not enough. He was still like a child. He continued to do what is forbidden for him to do until he had his 2nd attack and there it was his life was taken. I accept what happened to him since I know everything happens for a purpose and it's God's will. I just wish that we can turn back time and we could have at least bid him Goodbye before he was gone. :'( Did anybody of you lost a family member? How did you handle it?
2 people like this
6 responses
@momiecat (997)
• United States
28 Sep 08
Hi, I am sorry for the loss of your brother and the fact that he did not do healthy things to help his body and help him live longer. A few days ago I lost my father. It is a very painful thing to lose a loved one and I wish we did not have to experience it. I think the best advice I received was to know that the loved one is not suffering anymore and also to think of the good things and not dwell on the negative or bad things. They also say writing down your thoughts is helpful. I am going to make a Memory Book of the things that remind me of happy times like photos and little notes my dad wrote to me. I am also going to include things he liked such as baseball and candy, like pictures of baseball players or candy wrappers, etc. I lost a son about ten years ago and I never thought I would get over that but as they say, time heals. You will never forget your loved one and will never completely heal but time will lessen the pain. I hope your heart will be happier soon. I am going to live to honor my father. He did have faults too but I will honor the good things about him. I also talk to him and tell him I love him, hoping that his spirit can hear me. Peace and healing wishes for you.
@yuna15 (2706)
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
Losing somebody is such a devastating experience. I don't know what I would do if anything would happen to my daughter. I cannot imagine myself in your place. Thank you for sharing your experience. :)
28 Sep 08
i know how u feel but my different then your i lost my real mom on july 28 1998 of heathly troubles she was blinded and i was by her bedside in the hosptail so was her ex hushand my brother and my mom sister it was hard to say good bye to her but i knew she was better off and not in any more pain i will always remember my mom
1 person likes this
@yuna15 (2706)
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
I envy you for being able to at least say good bye to your mom before she was gone. At least she knows that she is indeed loved. You are right, it would be better for our loved ones to go instead of seeing them in pain. Which also hurts a lot. Thank you for sharing your experience!
@essytssy (125)
• India
28 Sep 08
So pity..But everything is decided by god nothing in our hands. Few weeks ago I last my granpa he is so kind hearted person teached me everything in my life. I still cant believe he is not with us. I pray for his soul. I love u grandpa
@annjilena (5618)
• United States
28 Sep 08
iam sorry for your lose. we offten talk to our love ones when things go wrong in there lives somtimes they don,t listen and suffer conquences so it no fault of yours it was there choice iam sorry you and your brother was not closer but one day you will see him again and you can be close as you want to be.
@NrgDfenZ (1810)
• Belgium
28 Sep 08
I am very sorry to hear that.. I lost my grandfather a few years ago. I watched him die, his last words to me were that I should be friendly to everyone even those I do not like.. And I try to keep doing that, just to show him my respect.. Have a nice day :)
1 person likes this
@mayrah (1144)
• United States
28 Sep 08
I haven't experience losing immediate family member. But I have witnessed how my uncle and his whole family grieve for the loss of their youngest child. Though I haven't experienced it I know It's been so hard. They aren't prepared for the loss of their once healthy and smart little princess.
1 person likes this